Holiday aibu

[Mytym]

Partner and father of 1yr old wants to go on a 3 week holiday with his friends for a hobby "trip of a life time". They are planning it for 2 years time. Aibu to think 3 weeks is a really long time and I'm pissed off that he is thinking of going. I will be left with our then 3 year old and I guess his parents will do the child care while I'm at work and he's on holiday.

Sadly he doesn't seem committed to you and DD. He will likely always put his wants and needs first.

Then I think what you are struggling with OP is that is exactly what he is telling you that he doesnt see you as his future.

Are you even really together then?

YABU.

Immediately start planning your own trip tho!!

@Mytym

OK I must be being unreasonable. I appreciate the replies. Our finances are separate as is our living situation. No more babies on the cards.

It really is purely because I think it is a really long time to go and I feel resentful that he wants to go for that long.

Keep it that way. I think it's selfish AF to do this when you have very young children. I'd feel resentful and it would damage my relationship with him. I'd tell him that, though.

I don't think you really have any right to object as long as he sorts childcare because you live quite separate lives. As you don't live together and have separate finances it wouldn't impact you other than you missing out on time spent with him during those 3 weeks.

I think that's ok - perhaps you could take a couple of one week breaks and leave your sons with his Dad too.

It wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest! I would only have been pissed off if it affected my finances.
It's important to have individual identities, make sure you plan your trip of a lifetime too! 3 weeks in a whole life is nothing.

If you were living together I would see your point. Are you even in a relationship? I would think in this case, if he organizes childcare for his part then I don't see the problem.

If he’s been planning 2 years and it’s not a usual thing then I think he should go.

That also gives you a reason to plan a trip of a lifetime too!!

I would feel resentful if my partner wanted a trip of a lifetime without me. Unless it was something like climbing Everest or sailing around the world.

But if you’re not living together, there’s no impact on your finances and his parents are likely to cover childcare then I guess it’s his choice.

I saw your update and until then I was going to say that I dont think you're being unreasonable. That's a long time for a toddler to suddenly not see their family. I think it's odd to pick when you have a 3 or 4 year old to go on a 'trip of a lifetime' - assuming it's something that could be done another time, why choose the years that your child needs you most, to use up most of your annual leave on something that leaves little for your child? I don't think most mums would do it.

But then I think its different if you're not living together, just because your lives are more separate anyway

How would he react if you said YOU wanted to go off for 3 weeks?