...and yesterday he left. I’m not heartbroken as such, he was tremendously cruel and has behaved so very badly. He’s left me for a woman 30 years his junior. She’ll go to all the swingers parties and have no sexual boundaries at all. She’ll drink with him, do coke with him, lick door handles when they’re out (obvs not, or at least I hope ;) because she doesn’t give a damn about covid. He’s blown vast amounts of money, endlessly has other ‘arrangements’ on the go, and is so deceitful. I know it’s not him I mourn, but the hope I once had. It was all a massive lie, but I didn’t used to know that. Though I understand now that I was love-bombed. So why, even though I know all this, did I wake every hour last night and feel so wretched this morning. I have no job, and I’m going to lose my beautiful home. I feel so so sad. I think I’m looking for a hand hold, I was reading so many threads on here through the night, I know my story is nothing new. I put up with so much shit. But I feel old and done. Like I’ll never feel happiness again.