My dm is such a bitch.

[whatisforteamum]

The backstory is she appears jealous of me.
I was always slimmer,worked hard and generally we are complete opposites.
She is such hard work my 2 dbro and dsis hardly bother with her.My other dsis and I live locally so feel obliged.
She didn't visit my home when dcs were little and made excuses to send df.
She reported me to social services who sent the Hv to check on the dcs welfare as she thought I wasn't feeding them enough I was and they apologised and said it must be hard with a dm like that.
In lockdown I picked bits up for her and rang her daily as she is alone and refuses to walk off the drive even for a short walk consequently she has weeping infected legs.Dh took her to hospital then I have a few times collected dressings and pills,she doesn't get her normal prescription in either then wants it rushed through !!
So this week she started telling me how I shouldn't be on zero hrs and rbs work pay triple what I earn,then I produced a drink bottle as she never makes coffees since corona and her house is a mile each way.
Next day she tells me on a sarcastic voice why does everyone carry a drink now and how it causes anxiety which she knows I'm struggling with and how she doesn't understand it.Ok I got sucked right in with her bad leg and her refusal to lose weight.
I really can't believe a 78 yr old can be so spiteful or bitchy especially to the ones that help her.
No more.😪

Why are you bothering? She’s vile. You don’t owe her anything. Walk away.

This is a good group, if you are on FB www.facebook.com/groups/736462303356123/?ref=share

Mistletoewoeandwine, duty I guess and bizarrely she expects everyone to cut her grass take her here and there which we stopped as it was never good enough.
She doesn't realise how bad she is,sniggers about my pet, won't go in the chemist because a customer shouted at her once,expected the go to see her 530pm on a Fri night.
I will check out that group thanks.

Its your own FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) that keeps you within this dysfunctional relationship with your mother, a woman who is not worthy of the term and a person who has done more than enough harm to you from childhood onwards. She was likely not a good parent to you when you were growing up and she has not changed since then. She will not change either and ultimately you are going to have to withdraw from her completely. BTW would you have tolerated this from a friend too?.

Deal with your FOG through therapy and have a look also at the current "well we took you to Stately Homes" thread on these Relationships pages. Have a read too of the Out of the Fog website.

Leave her to her awful behaviour OP.

You don't have any obligation whatsoever to spend time witj someone, even a parent who is nasty to you.

Stop being the martyr then?

You both sound hard work

Some of our help is what we feel df would've wanted.
I don't know how anyone in the same town can leave a parent.
I stopped offers of cooked food.
I should've walked away when she called me a whore for having sex at 21 as I was only engaged not yet married.
Cloudfrost I don't consider myself a martyr more someone who gets sucked back in when she is in need only to forget the mocking patronising nature of the woman.