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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure what to do

4 replies

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 16/04/2021 07:21

My son and his wife want me to move in with them when I retire in a few years time, I only have one child.
We all get on very well but I'm not sure. I want to retire to the sea. I miss the sea so much, I had to move away from the sea for work.
It would really benefit everyone to live together as we can pool our money and get a really big place instead of two small ones, I've always wanted a bigger garden and would be more than happy to live in a granny annexe at the bottom of the garden and it would be nice for me to have someone to do my shopping and what have you when I can't get out anymore.
It would be better for them, they could work part time and retire early.
But they live in the midlands and I hanker for the sea and don't want to live in the midlands, they don't want to move because my DiL is black and where I live is not a multi racial area and she would hate it and I can't possibly expect her to live anywhere where she might be racially abused she's such a wonderful person and we have always got on.
I think maybe I'm being very selfish, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be stuck in north Devon miles away from anyone when I am old either but I worry about giving up my independence completely.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/04/2021 07:24

Go live by the sea, when you get older sell up and move closer to them. It’s not a one shot deal.

KinseyWinsey · 16/04/2021 07:29

Live where you want to live.

Use grocery delivery services.

Sounds like you'll be so miserable if you don't live by the sea.

Don't ignore your own needs.

Woodpecker22 · 16/04/2021 07:37

Is there a compromise area? What about somewhere like Bristol which is close to the coast but still quite multi cultural?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 16/04/2021 07:56

I meant multi cultural not multi racial typing too fast. I think I'll have to visit when covid is over and really discuss it. They have jobs they can pretty much do anywhere,

OP posts:
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