What to do

[Icd14]

Hey I’m reaching out for some advice or support as a single mum please.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 9 months now and it’s getting harder to travel etc to see one another
We both have kids, he lives in England and his son does too but with his mother. I live in Scotland& my son is about to start secondary school.
He isn’t prepared to move away from his son after moving down there last year. I have considered moving but not sure the timing is right with my son & upsetting his routine
Any suggestions or compromise as I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel

I had a LDR once, 124 miles. Before I even met him, I said that I couldn't move due to my DD. He said, he'd move. My DD disliked him, because I'm sure she thought I was going to take her away from her Dad, which I'd never do. It wasn't anything to do with the ex.
My ex and I split up. I'm a believer in if its right, you make it work. It didn't

This one is dead in the water. It would be an appallingly selfish decision to uproot your children's lives for the sake of this man, and likewise it would be just as bad for him to move away and drastically limit how involved he can be in his child's life. Either carry on as you are for the next 10 years or move on.

The thing is you don't know him it's easy for him to be whoever he wants at the moment because your time together is like a holiday , not real life. I moved in with someone id spent a fair bit of time with. I knew we had issues but they seemed to be things that could be resolved by sharing a home, building a life etc. He turned out to be an abusive arse ( the physical abuse started two days after him and his young son had moved in) and the only thing that got me out of that relationship alive (and that's not me being dramatic) was that it was my house and I had a support network around me. Do not move for a stranger it's a dangerous decision when you have a dependent son. I'm not saying he will be abusive, it may work out fabulously or could be a case of just not compatible but that's a gamble you don't have the luxury of taking if you look at the impact it would have on your sons life. I also think if you did do that, which would be the only option as he has point blank refused then it would be you and your son making all the comprises/sacrifices. What is that saying that his and his child's wants will always be more important than you and your sons. I can understand why he wouldn't want to move to you but I also think it's unreasonable to expect you to.
I think the only options is to continue how it is, with a view to becoming more as your child becomes an adult and his grows or end it, alternatively keep it as a bit of fun here and there, keeping the kids out of the equation. But in all honesty I don't think this has got anywhere to go, sorry p.o..

You should absolutely not move house for the sake of a 9 month relationship which has been long distance so far.

Not all relationships work out. Location and circumstances are really important - in this case, those things just aren’t in your favour.