I started a new job this week. Previously I worked PT, 3 days a week, school hours, but basically did everything re DC (2 - 6 and 4) and for the house Monday - Friday. He has never done the school run, for example. Food magically appears in the cupboards and fridge, his clothes go from dirty to hanging clean and ironed in his wardrobe, he puts the hoover round once a week and that is the grand total of the housework he does - I think he has had it easy, really - except-
DH is the main earner and has a stressful job (personally, I think he makes it more stressful than it needs to be).
He has said several times that he feels under pressure being the main earner and his pay dropped by 25% in the last year due to Covid which has caused him additional stress.
It was always my plan to increase my hours once my youngest was in reception - she started last September. I couldn't increase my hours at my old job (I was keen to leave anyway) and so I got a new FT ish (30 hours 9-3 mon -fri) job and I started on Monday.
My new job will be a mix of WFH and office based but for this week, to train, I have to go into the office. I think everyone would agree that this week is important to make the right impression.
DH was apprehensive because he has got used to being able to work when he likes and is happy with the status quo. He will book meetings for 7am or 7pm without any word to me - he doesn't even tell me if he will be eating with us even though he is working upstairs. He controls his own diary to a large extent.
Before I accepted the job we had a discussion about how things would have to change. He nodded along and agreed he would have to start considering us when booking meetings and that he would have to start doing some school runs - mornings especially and definitely during this first week.
Last week he decided he was going to return to his office this week. In central London. An hour away. He hasn't stepped foot in that office except for two days last September. Why this week? It isn't an order from above, it is his choice. As far as I am aware the rules are still work from home if you can. He has to leave home at 7.30am to get his train.
As part of our plans for a new routine he agreed to make DS's packed lunch. This morning he has run out the door and casually mentioned he hasn't done it and OH there is no bread 
the bins also needed to go out but he walked straight past them and then messaged me to say "he forgot". He managed 3 days of making the lunch.
Fortunately my new office is fairly local and so I can drop the DC off and get there for 9am but it is pretty tight.
Meanwhile, DH leaves extra time so he can casually saunter from the station to his office and perhaps pick up a coffee and croissant before sitting at his desk in plenty of time before his first meeting.
I am so angry. This is controlling behaviour, isn't it? If asked, he would deny that he is deliberately trying to make me fail/ make my life difficult. He made a huge fuss over me getting my new job - it is a big step up - a card, flowers, social media posts but in reality I feel like he is trying to assert his authority - trying to show that him and his job come first, remember that little woman! Know your place!
I feel so down this morning. I am finding my new job hard, I had been at my old one for 15 years and could do it in my sleep. I really have to concentrate. The house is a mess too - DH didn't even put his dinner plate in the dishwasher last night (he never does, I suppose that's another sign for me to know my place).
Sigh. Must stop moaning and get the DC to finish getting ready.