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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this my fault?

5 replies

Rallydriver · 14/04/2021 23:44

I would be grateful if anyone could put into context what happened today.

Going on a day out with DP and DC. DC excited.

Going down dual carriageway pull into outside lane to overtake lorry. Doung about 72 ish. Cant quite remember but no going excessively fast.

Police car comes behind sirens flashing and so move over to inside lane and it speeds off.

DP then says to me 'you thought it was coming for you' i say 'no why would I'

He says because you were going over the speedlimit. I was getting a bit frustrated by then because this is a regular freak out about police cars (no idea why), and just yesterday i was 'informed' that traffic cars can now pull people over (this was because i overtook one at 71mph on the motorway. For context i am a very experienced and careful driver. I dont take risks but do drive at 70 or just over where allowed and i feel it is safe to do so.

Thanks for readingSmile

Due to this i said in a slightly frustrated way 'again no i didnt think they were going to pull me over and i dont think i was going above the speed limit or if i was it was only a couple of mph over not doing 100mph' this sort of constant badgering is quite frequent.

He then gets really cross saying he is going to lose his temper with me and to turn round and go home. I then have to back down so the DC arent disappointed/upset.
For context i am a very experienced and careful driver.

OP posts:
Marmozet3 · 14/04/2021 23:46

Not at all your fault. He sounds paranoid and rather aggressive

Rallydriver · 14/04/2021 23:47

Sorry somehow managed to jumble the paragraphs.

It feels like gaslighting, trying to make me anxious

OP posts:
sadpapercourtesan · 14/04/2021 23:47

No, it wasn't your fault. Does he usually position himself as the one in charge? I'm amazed he feels he has the authority to tell you to turn the car around and go home Confused or that he thinks "I'm going to lose my temper with you" is a reasonable thing to say?! You're not a child.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/04/2021 23:49

Does your partner not understand that if a police car has their sirens/lights on and is coming up behind you, you need to get the hell out of their way? He sounds daft and paranoid.

Rallydriver · 14/04/2021 23:50

Thanks all

OP posts:
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