Do the whole 'goodbye' message or just fade out?

[BurntOnions]

I've been messaging the same guy since just before the third lockdown (I wouldn't normally go in for such prolonged conversations).

I suggested a walk about 3/4 weeks ago and he was busy doing DIY Still getting the odd message and there's no one else on the scene so figured why not reply.

He's still not suggested another date and tonight my friend saw him on Bumble (fairly near the front of the queue, which means he's active).

I CBA with any drama or doing the goodbye message, but is that very cowardly?

Nah, just don’t get in touch again. If you send him a message or allude to why then it makes it sound dramatic and needy. Just move on with your life and free up the space he’s been taking up in your life.

Yeah l would normally suggest being polite but you've not even met. I think a fade away is fine in this particular scenario

We have met, the last time was about 5 weeks ago. I really hate being ghosted so I wouldn't like to think that I did it to someone else. I have a strong belief in karma

If he was fairly near the front of the queue on Bumble it could also mean that he's stopped his subscription. They push you forward just before it runs out to make you think you've got tons of admirers

Unfortunately his profile picture was obviously recent so he's definitely been active. I know it sounds a bit picky/princessy but I feel like I'm a back up choice and that's not for me.

But it’s not ghosting if he’s hardly messaging you. Ghosting is where they disappear abruptly. This just sounds like he’s giving you the slow fade and you’re going along with it. That’s fine.

Why don't you just message him and say "hi, i think we've run out of things to say to each other, let's call it a day, good luck for the future".
Minimum effort, good for your self esteem as you are the one ending it, polite etc.

And then you are not hanging on wondering if he'll message or if you should reply.

Next!

@BurntOnions

Unfortunately his profile picture was obviously recent so he's definitely been active. I know it sounds a bit picky/princessy but I feel like I'm a back up choice and that's not for me.

Don't bother giving him a goodbye message, just fade out. He's obviously so busy on dating sites he probably won't care anyway. And when (quite likely when he's run out of matches on bumble) he messages you with a view to a hook up or a booty call tell him you're extremely busy, would have loved to but No thanks

I don’t think you’re that into each other so no problem just leaving it and moving on. Won’t have a karma knock on effect. Good luck! 😃

And when (quite likely when he's run out of matches on bumble) he messages you with a view to a hook up or a booty call tell him you're extremely busy, would have loved to but No thanks

That's why I'd quite like to just block him, but that feels slightly petty at the moment.

Don't bother to send him a message, he's not under the impression theres anything to end if he's making no effort to chat regularly or see you. Simply don't message/ reply further, or block if you want to. If you send a message it might spur him to start a conversation saying 'sorry I've been busy' or some such. Better just to let it fade if there are no expectations on either side.

Just block him. Why does it matter if he thinks you're petty? He's not exactly your dream man, is he?

I think its more polite to just drop him a quick goodbye message rather than just ignore/block.
Just a sort of 'its been nice talking to you/seeing you but I'm not sure theres a connection there. Good luck though' type of message.
Much better than just ghosting someone, I think that's incredibly rude and really no need for it when it takes seconds for a quick text.

How hard is it to write a brief message saying there's no connection so you're going to stop messaging and wish him luck. In my day, before Mobile phones and apps, you had to meet them to end it or at least phone them . People on here not liking being ghosted but recommending you to do it.......yes karma is a bitch. It takes no effort, and it's done. Be an adult

You don’t like being ghosted and rightfully so. Rude and hurtful to others.

I’d simply not start a new message. When he (should he) eventually message you, then reply that this isn’t working for you and you’re moving on. Wish them well but goodbye

No need to tell them about the bumble as you really hadn’t gotten far into anything and had been fizzling out.

I think it’s a bit late for that. He obviously thinks he’s back on the market. I’d just leave it.

Was it more just friendly ? Some guys just want someone to text. If you're happy to, keep it at that. Or just slow fade him. No need to formally depart.

I think probably best to just leave it but if you feel you want to send a message then jamal’s suggestion above is a good one.

You don’t like being ghosted and rightfully so. Rude and hurtful to others.

I’d simply not start a new message. When he (should he) eventually message you, then reply that this isn’t working for you and you’re moving on. Wish them well but goodbye

No need to tell them about the bumble as you really hadn’t gotten far into anything and had been fizzling out.

This 👏🏻

I really hate being ghosted so I wouldn't like to think that I did it to someone else You wouldn’t be ghosting him, he’s currently doing a long, drawn out version of ghosting you. You met once and he fobbed you off when you suggested meeting again. If you fancied someone and they suggested meeting up for an hour, you wouldn’t turn them down because you needed to put some shelves up. He’s not interested in dating you so I wouldn’t give him any more head space.

If you send him a ‘goodbye’ message, you’re making it seem like you thought it was a bigger deal than it actually was. Just don’t message him again. And if, in the future, he tries his luck because he hasn’t met anyone else, you can tell him you can’t meet up because you’re mowing the lawn.

He was doing DIY and didn't suggest another date.

Don't block him just ignore him. He's clearly not interested. You can do better.........