Debsy, I remember your thread about this before your ds was born.
Tbh, although I totally understand how hard it can be if a hobby takes over, I do think it is very important to compromise, because if this is something he?s done since he was a child, then it would be unfair to expect him to give it up altogether. But by the same token it?s unfair of him to be away doing it every other weekend.
With regard to how he should feel given how long it took you to conceive your ds, tbh I think that a lot of men don?t think along those lines, men seem to live more for the here and now, your ds is here now, the fact that it took 3 years to conceive him is now inconsequencial because he is here, iyswim?
Other than the racing, what is your relationship like? Do you get on well? Communicate well? Are you otherwise happy? And if not why not?
If you have a good relationship apart from the racing, I would get a babysitter and go out, overnight if you feel you can, just the two of you. And during that time I would make time to build on your relationship, and to talk about just how much it affects you all when your dh goes away so often. I would try to find a compromise, where he goes away maybe every 4 weeks instead of every two weeks to start with, and maybe build from there. But I would be very honest with him and tell him just how strongly you feel about this, even so far as that you?ve started looking for solicitors. If he loves you and your ds, then this should shock him into realizing just how all-consuming his hobby has become. You will need to give a little though, it can?t be all what you want, if you want him to cut down the racing then you can only really expect him to cut down not give up altogether. And in time he may spend less time doing it, but if it?s something he feels passionate about it will be hard to just let it go.