DH is depressed again.

[countrygirl34]

I’m just after a bit of a hand hold. My DH has admitted that he is feeling very depressed snd he will make an appt to speak to the GP etc. I knew that he was low but for him to admit it he must be feeling bad. We have been through this before and it lasted over a year - nearer 2- in different forms with him feeling suicidal at times. I know I just need to pull myself together for our children and him. I know how to get support and have a supportive family - although they are far away so can’t visit right now. - and that it may not be like last time but I just want to get into bed and cry for a bit. Can’t do that as everyone needs feeding, bathing etc.

It’s so hard to cope with a depressed partner, your poor DH and poor you. He’s very lucky to have such a supportive wife ❤️ Don’t forget to make sure you have someone to talk to as well, it’s not fair to be his support and strength without any of your own.

Thank you. I just wish I could pop around to friends houses. It would help so much. The most difficult part is feeling like he doesn’t care about us- which I know he does really. I have worked with people with depression and know what’s going on but it doesn’t make it easier .

I know, the isolation has been awful this past year. Can you arrange some phone chats or video calls or walks with friends or family? It’s really difficult, I also have a DH with depression and it can leave you feeling so low yourself juggling everything to take the load off for them while being brought down each day. It’s good he’s seeking help. Is he going to access therapy and medication?

Last time he had both. I’m not sure this time. I’m in contact with family and friends a lot on the phone but sometimes you just need a spontaneous cuppa at someone’s kitchen table. Thank you for replying. I hope you are taking care of yourself too.

I am going through exact same situation right now although not my husband. Totally cut himself off and distanced himself from me and when I called him this morning to try talk he said he doesn’t feel like talking. No idea what to do. I’m angry but also worried sick, can’t eat or can’t sleep. I know I need to look after myself too but it’s so hard. Feel your pain xx

I’ve actually left my husband now over his mental health. It was affecting me and the kids too much. I ended up doing everything for years.

Has your dh being taking medication for his depression? Has he other things in place that help me eg exercise? If he is doing everything he can and still has a set back l would have lots of sympathy but if he has neglected to take care of himself l would be very upset. Can you see l deal with this situation on a regular basis with my own dh and each time l naively believe it will never come back but unfortunately it does. It is soul destroying. My sympathy is for you.

He has been trying and some things have slipped recently. He has worked through the pandemic in a stressful job which I am sure has contributed. We’ve sat down and talked about it and I’m hoping we have caught it early this time. I think he understands that I can’t feel ignored and unloved again. I still feel quite tearful but I’m pretty hormonal right now!Thank you all for replying and I hope you are all taking care of yourselves too.

This really does warrant an urgent GP appointment.

Being with a depressed partner/spouse is awful. For me it was a deal breaker. I couldn't do it any more and divorced him. Thank god. It was a nightmare.