I have a feeling my partner has cheated on me.

[Leona99]

Hi, not going to make this an essay but here it is.
Last year was the worst year. Me and my partner fell out a few times he ended up leaving on 3 occasions and I split up with him for a few days until he promised everytime he would change. The 3rd time was the day after my dad funeral he left me to go and stay up a common in his car! Anyway he always has this image "I'm cheating on him" or "I'm going too" and he said it last night, I said I think hes been with someone else and he was just smirking saying "okay then". His eyes and face said it all in my opinion. Would anyone take much notice of this? Half of me I'm thinking hes just trying to wind me up to make me feel insecure because he knows I'm not but he is. X

What made you take him back? Ime there is nothing more satisfying than ending a relationship with a man who keeps threatening to do it to you.

The fact he didn’t get angry when you said it says a lot to me. If you didn’t cheat you would defend yourself wouldn’t you and not just brush it off.
I would try have a serious convo with him and ask him out right. Tell him why you think he has

Whether he's unfaithful or not, he's not very nice by goading you.

Just purely out of interest, when was the last time he brought you some flowers?

Just end it for ever. He’s messing with your head.

Why on earth would you believe him when he said he'd change?

Why are you with him?
It all sounds rather immature.
If you don't trust each other end it.
If you don't love each other end it.

What does it matter? Someone who smirks at you, views you with contempt. That isnt a partner, it is someone you need to stay far, far away from.

He is vile, get rid.

Does it matter? Someone who walked out on our relationship that much, including just after my dad died, and who was accusing me of cheating, would have been out the door a long time ago. You have to raise your standards. He sounds like a complete waste of time.

Also, why would you stay with someone that winds you up.and enjoys making you feel insecure? What did you learn about relationships growing up that makes you think this behaviour is in any way ok? Where is your self respect and love that you keep someone who treats you like this around?

This sounds totally dysfunctional

I think after losing my dad I've just clung on to him and he wont leave me. My mum and dad was together 23 years before he ended his life and all I ever seen was my father treat my bad. I don't feel insecure hence what I posted on my thread, he seems to be insecure but like hes also trying to MAKE me insecure. I've been through alot, losing a parent to suicide makes you feel very unloved and changes your life for the worst. If I hadn't lost my dad I wouldn't still be with my partner to this day, I just havent wanted to feel anymore alone then what I do or have anymore dark days. Having a partner and getting things back on track has kind of saved me a little bit knowing we have that "family routine" I'm very emotional about my whole life, my mum has a new partner and I feel like she has no time for me, I have absolutely no friends they genuinely fell out with me when I finally settled down and sorted my life out, they all preferred to have a party friend. The only thing I feel like I have is my daughter and him to take my mind off things.

OP I know it won't help the relationship side of things but have a think about joining a bereavement support group and getting some bereavement counselling. It's often free, the counselling and it's specialised too so might really help you. You sound so sad about your loss.

But this man isn't really supportive of you op. Even take the example of your dads funeral. He had to create drama and leave you around that time and make it all about him.

I'll let you in on something I've learned op. 95% of the time, if you think a man is 'insecure' he is actually just controlling. Normal, decent men dont try to make you feel insecure. Theres something seriously wrong with him.

Also,can you remember the last time someone was upset and asking you to give some sort of reassurance instead of showing them kindness, you SMIRKED at them? Of course not! Because you arent an evil cow!

He is showing you exactly who he is! Believe him.

Just because someone else is physically there, doesn't mean they are with you. In time you may realise that it is often better to be on your own than on your own in bad company.

Buy a cat. Instant family. And loyalty. Without the drama.

Ask your go for therapy losing a dad to suicide puts you in risk category plus your previous party lifestyle?
You need self esteem to get what you want from life

What a horrible time you’ve had OP, I’m so sorry.

Op I'm sending you a big hug.

You have lots, you have your daughter and your own future. There's no reason why new friends or a new relationship won't be part of that future.

I don't think he sounds like someone making your life better.

Anyway he always has this image "I'm cheating on him"
He's cheating or is thinking of it.

Bin him.

Agreed @NotaCoolMum

OP you can have a family routine without a man around, you realise that right!?

Focus on your daughter, this atmosphere is not healthy for a child.

@Aprilshowersandhail

What made you take him back? Ime there is nothing more satisfying than ending a relationship with a man who keeps threatening to do it to you.

oh yes!