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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I feel so numb. Does anyone else feel the same.

13 replies

Alicew00 · 13/04/2021 09:55

When I first broke up with my ex I was glad and happier. Its been a few weeks now and now I feel completely numb and lost. I don't feel like I'm here. I wanna cry while writing this but stop myself from letting it out. I'm sat in the car and don't wanna get out. Just wanna sit here all day and not go to work soon.
He text me today saying thanks for the rest of his stuff he left. I gave it to a friend to give him. And I want him to text me more but I know I shouldn't. He's such an antagonising, horrible person.

I feel lost. 😪

OP posts:
HomeSliceKnowsBest · 13/04/2021 10:02

So sorry OP, no advice but Flowers.

TC68 · 13/04/2021 10:16

Sharing your pain - recently parted from my ex and I feel bereaved - I feel so numb and there is no enjoyment in any thing I do - try to keep busy but it is so hard to motivate myself. Why did you end the relationship - you said he was horrible - what did he do ?

IWantYoutoKnow · 13/04/2021 10:17

I guess it's normal to feel like this, however awful it is. I really sympathise.

You need to hold on to the glad and happier feeling you first felt. Right now, the giving back of stuff is a monumental event and will re-open the wound. But give it time (sucks I know) you will slowly start to feel better.

Good luck, you've got this.

Original poster
Alicew00 · 13/04/2021 10:33

@TC68

Sharing your pain - recently parted from my ex and I feel bereaved - I feel so numb and there is no enjoyment in any thing I do - try to keep busy but it is so hard to motivate myself. Why did you end the relationship - you said he was horrible - what did he do ?
He would go in moods over nothing sometimes ignoring me all night expect the kids and I never said or did anything. He'd talk to me like crap in shop if he couldn't find me. If he accidently hurt someone such as once my daughters finger got trapped in a door because of him and didn't say sorry or see if she was OK, just shook his head. He never wanted to listen to me, called me a liar and all sorts if he was tired. Sat around the house doing nothing apart from using my WiFi and going to his mates 3x a week. I had to do everything for him wash his clothes even though he had his own place and planning days out etc
OP posts:
IWantYoutoKnow · 13/04/2021 10:43

He sounds awful. Don't feel numb, skip for joy. You've dodged a bullet.

Original poster
Alicew00 · 13/04/2021 10:45

Yes you're right. I can't believe I waited for him to love me. He'd say it but didn't act like it.

OP posts:
Teatimes2 · 13/04/2021 10:52

I broke up 2 months ago, which I've posted about, but I'm really at my lowest now after feeling stronger for a while. I've a day off today, just lying in bed crying. I thought I'd be feeling much better now and mad at myself that I'm not because I'm sure he's fine.

Notoriouslynotnotious · 13/04/2021 10:54

You are grieving Alice it is totally normal but you will not feel like this forever. It is a huge wrench losing a significant relationship but that doesn’t mean we should go back. It sounds like his behaviours caused you significant heartache too. Moving away from this situation will in the long run save you from that cycle of pain and forgiveness and you will get over this stage of grief. It is horrible grieving when the person is still there because your mind tricks you into thinking there is an easy way out of this pain by just going backwards, like being on drugs, but there isn’t you have to just walk through it. There is always a brighter tomorrow after grief. ❤️❤️

Original poster
Alicew00 · 13/04/2021 10:56

@Teatimes2

I broke up 2 months ago, which I've posted about, but I'm really at my lowest now after feeling stronger for a while. I've a day off today, just lying in bed crying. I thought I'd be feeling much better now and mad at myself that I'm not because I'm sure he's fine.
I bet it would feel better if you found out he's not doing so good either. I would me. I know my ex is gonna be lonely anyway.
OP posts:
Original poster
Alicew00 · 13/04/2021 10:57

Hope you feel better too soon

OP posts:
Sstrongtn · 13/04/2021 10:57

Book some things in for you if you can, something you enjoy and some time with female friends who can be your you group.

It will pass x

TC68 · 13/04/2021 11:18

Well keep thinking of all of those horrible traits he had and enjoy the peace - gosh he sounds horrible although I am sure you had good times too. The pain of a break up is very similar to grief. TRY to be kind to yourselves

TC68 · 13/04/2021 11:24

@Alicew00
There also seems possible underling domestic abuse with how he behaved - thank god you got out as it would only have got worse. You need to be treated with respect and love

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