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Original poster

Losing interest (OLD)

10 replies

autumnalrain · 12/04/2021 14:35

Does anyone else lose interest when a date is suggested? I’ve been talking to a guy on bumble for a week and yesterday we moved to text message. He just asked (and I mean minutes ago) if I am free for a drink next week and I now find myself not interested in him.

I can only imagine that he will be confused if I say no because we have been for a week and only just moved to text messaging. But for some reason there’s something about a date being propositioned that suddenly makes you realise that you’re not that interested.

Anyone else feel the same? If so, how did you break the news. I hate feeling like I’ve wasted someone’s time.

OP posts:
Original poster
autumnalrain · 12/04/2021 14:36

Bump

OP posts:
seensome · 12/04/2021 14:43

It brings everything into reality doesn't it. I have cancelled dates before because I had changed my mind about them, try only date if you genuinely feel excited to go on it. I know when I'm really wanting to go on one when I'm planning on what to wear and probably buy new clothes to impress.

I say sorry but I've changed my mind about dating at the moment. Better to cancel than go through with the date.

Marineboy67 · 12/04/2021 14:45

Looks like its becoming a little game for you to play. Some people just crave the attention and to know they can get a date if they want one. Another one of the depressing aspects of online dating, time wasters!

Silverfly · 12/04/2021 14:49

If this keeps happening I would take a step back from OLD as it sounds like you're not really ready to date yet. Or is it something about this particular guy?

Original poster
autumnalrain · 12/04/2021 14:53

I think that’s it. It makes everything seem more real. @seensome

@Marineboy67 this made me laugh. Someone clearly woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning.

This is the second time this is ever happened to me. It’s not like I make a habit of it.

But I I guess you’ve never changed your mind about anything ever.

This is only the second time in a year that this has happened. But I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe my subconscious that somethings not right. For example he’s been quite elusive about his job and he also didn’t have the certified badge on bumble. @Silverfly

OP posts:
Marineboy67 · 12/04/2021 15:06

@autumnalrain

I think that’s it. It makes everything seem more real. *@seensome*

@Marineboy67 this made me laugh. Someone clearly woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning.

This is the second time this is ever happened to me. It’s not like I make a habit of it.

But I I guess you’ve never changed your mind about anything ever.

This is only the second time in a year that this has happened. But I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe my subconscious that somethings not right. For example he’s been quite elusive about his job and he also didn’t have the certified badge on bumble. @Silverfly

For the record I always wake up refreshed and ready to take on whatever the day has in store for me. I would say its more if a case of the truth hurts or touched a nerve. It is what it says it is, online dating. Thats what people are on there for. If you just want a chat or friendship then perhaps you should include that in your profile. Furthermore you didn't explain that he'd been elusive about his job and didn't have an official 'Bumble badge'. Therefore on reading your original post hence my response.
Fireflygal · 12/04/2021 15:07

Why not try a video date, so a halfway house? I think it's fair to be cautious (@Marineboy67, women do feel more vulnerable about meeting up with stranger man who they have met online). There is also the covid factor.

You may also just need time to absorb, see how you feel in a day or so. The options could be video date, don't date at all, continue chatting. Give yourself time to process what you would need to be feel comfortable to meet him in real life.

seensome · 12/04/2021 15:08

You haven't even arranged a date yet? So no obligation to go on one, the talking part is getting to know about them, you've decided you no longer interested, nothing to feel bad about as I said only go if you seriously want to. I think there is a lot that will date as many people as possible and not always care if they like them that much, that could also be seen as time wasting.

Sds01 · 12/04/2021 20:30

Usually its due to not being ready in some way.

BlueDahlia69 · 13/04/2021 01:30

At least you're honest about it OP, which is refreshing.

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