Lonely

[Swishswash88]

Hi, this is my first message on here

Is anyone else just feeling so lonely at the moment? I got dumped a few weeks ago and feel so heartbroken, I’m 32 and all of my friends are either getting married or having babies. Feel like I’m back and square one and completely on my own. The thought of starting again only to get my heart broken again fills me with dread but I want a family one day. I have the ultimate fear that I’m never going to find my person or I did and I’ve lost them.
It’s just so lonely going to bed alone every night. I live on my own and work from home so it’s just constant loneliness. My friends care but they have so much going on I don’t want to be a burden so I say I’m fine.
All I do is cry. I dread the thought of coming out of lockdown and seeing everyone’s social life on social media, my mates won’t be going out much so I don’t have people to go out with.
Feel like I need to make new friends but just don’t know how at this age.
Any advice is appreciated

Aww I am sorry your feeling this way but your not alone I can relate to how your feeling. Wife had an affair and I’m in the midst of breaking up with her while we’re still living together and she is seeing her new man.

It’s pretty lonely and like yourself I work from home so even after lock down nothing much in terms of interactions will change for me. I am trying to think of things I can do where I can try and get but more if a social life again.

Sorry to hear this. Everything is compounded at the moment with the pandemic. Try and keep the faith that things will get better... I know it is hard but things will change again. Look after yourself

It’s only natural for you to feel like this at the moment. Sorry if that’s not much help but it’s just crap the weeks after a breakup. I was exactly where you are several years back, (hence username) and the people on here really helped so you can always offload. Lockdown has affected us all too and we’re only just coming out of winter so there might be other things in there too.

Social media won’t do you any favours so try and resist the urge. Try and find ways of focussing on yourself, doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Each day you’re a little bit to coming through the other side of it all.

I split up with someone when I was 36 and met my dh soon after. I had to throw myself back into life. I did online dating, kept myself active with seeing friends and joining groups to meet people. You have to brush yourself off ( give yourself a week or two most being sad and treat yourself a lot) and get back up.
Come off social media for a while, it’s a total head screw when you’re going through hard times.

I feel the same as you. I’m 33 and ex dumped me a few months ago. I don’t feel overly lonely as such, but can relate to seeing friends and people all around me announcing pregnancies, engagements and marriage. It makes me feel really envious and and lost. I thought I’d settle down with my ex, but turns out he was a future faker.

My friends aren’t particularly interested in me either as they have their own stuff to deal with. Think they checked in once after my breakup. I think the key is to enjoy your own company, do things for you, trust yourself and your judgments and be ok being on your own. Easier said than done though

Sorry you feel the same, it’s hard isn’t it. My ex was a future faker too, sold me the dream and said the right things but clearly wanted the single life coming out of lockdown

Lots of use have been there, for what it's worth I'd suggesting having a plan B so that while you're dating etc, think about how you could parent alone, foster, apply for adoption etc. Give yourself multiple potential options if you can, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Be open but also focused, probably not explaining myself very well .

I spilt up with my husband during the last lockdown and to be honest work has been my saviour so I understand why you feel like you do.
Could you suggest going for a few drinks/coffee with a friend now restrictions have lifted? You dont have to be gone long. It might help you ease into wanting to go out and getting more involved with your friends again. As for making new friends, are there any social groups near you? Although I understand how difficult that would be but I'm sure everyone would be welcoming as they're in the same boat.
As for dating, dont worry about that! You're still young and have plenty of time.

32 is pretty young, TBH I’m more than 20 years older then you and live alone, and WFH, the last year has been mentally challenging in the extreme, just being physically alone all the time, has been tough.

But you are young and as others say, now it’s spring, get out and meet a few people and have some fun