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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm worried about my best friend

5 replies

NameChange2745637 · 11/04/2021 11:41

I've name changed for this.

I'm started to get worried about my best friend and the relationship she has with her partner.

She's not allowed to complain and she's not allowed to say how she feels.

He gives her the silent treatment all the time. He will chip away at her all day long and when she snaps he turns it around on her, like it's all her fault.

She pays for everything, she does all the cooking, cleaning and shopping and he never offers to help His excuse is he works full time but she also works part time and does everything else. This is the same with their child, he does NOTHING to help.

She is absolutely exhausted, she barely showers anymore because she either doesn't have the time or she is too tired.

Everything he does is subtle so I'm not sure she even realises what he is doing. I'm just so worried about her, he doesn't give a shit. He doesn't seem to have empathy and is a very cold person.

OP posts:
NameChange2745637 · 11/04/2021 11:46

Bump

OP posts:
merryhouse · 11/04/2021 13:53

As you've said partner I take it she's not married?

Is it his house? (That's the only way I can see he could possibly justify her paying for everything and his working full-time being relevant...)

Does she make excuses for him?

Would she be open to the idea of moving out?

NameChange2745637 · 11/04/2021 14:02

They're not married and the property is both of theirs. I think she is really worried about money and that's why she won't leave.

She tends to say that they are going through a "rough patch" but he's been like this for a very long time.

OP posts:
ICantBeDoingWithThis · 11/04/2021 14:07

This sounds awful and it’s great she has a friend like you who is there for her.
Could you encourage her to speak to a counsellor (on her own) someone neutral who can help her see what is happening and build her confidence?
Or even contact women’s aid for advice. What he is doing is emotional abuse at the very least.

NameChange2745637 · 11/04/2021 14:17

@ICantBeDoingWithThis I know, it is really awful, it's horrible seeing her like this.
I think she feels like because he's not violent or that he's very subtle about what he does that maybe she's over reacting. I don't understand how someone who is meant to love her can just watch her fall apart and not even care?

I will suggest a counsellor.

OP posts:
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