Anyone got back together with dp after separation?

[hurricane]

Considering this. Only separated a couple of months. 2 dcs (5 & 3). His choice not mine which he now regrets...

I haven't experienced this personally - so bumping this for you.

how do you feel about it right now - what's your gut reaction?

hi there, i did this. we split up 2 years ago for a short period - 6 months - but once he was back, i didnt want him back and for 3 months i struggled on with it. eventually though things came to an almighty head and alot of things were said and done and our relationship now is very strong, i trust him and he knows damn well what a sh!t he had been towards me. We have a different relationship now and this, i think, is because i am alot stronger and deep down i know i can survive on my own with dd. everyones experience must differ due to the circumstances of the separation.

Do you still love him? Is it over for you? What would make it different this time? How do you see yourself in a year's time/five year's time?

I wouldn't have my ex- back for all the chocolate that Green & Black's could produce, but that is only because I no longer love him, nor trust him, and I, actually, don't even like him much anymore . But, I was in a relationship were I did have an ex- back. It didn't work out, long-term, but was the right thing to do then, and I, certainly, don't regret it. Some things are simply not over until the fat lady sings or you know, in your heart of hearts, that they are. Good luck - do what you want and what you need to do for you.

V mixed feelings and very changeable. The split was very sudden and unexpected and he admits he behaved appallingly during and afterwards. Would like to have back what we had but the problem is that we can't. Still love him but now I know I can cope on my own with dcs and realize I don't actually need him. Now recognize a lot of things that were wrong in the relationship that I was able to ignore or say were insignificant in the wider scheme of things but now that I don't have to have all the bad things that come with the relationship (and probably any relationship) don't know if it's all worth it. Also think if it was just me I wouldn't necessarily have anything to lose but don't want him to come back if there's a chance that he'll walk out on the kids again just as they're beginning to adjust...

OK - so why would you have him back? What was so good before? Are you both capable of making it happen? Do you both want the same things? Would having outside help make a difference? Can you see yourself with him and happy?

As you gather, I only have a load of questions because I think you know what's right for you. Being purely pragmatic, the worst thing that could happen is you have him back and he leaves again or you have to ask him to leave. Yes, I imagine that would be dreadful for the children but you will know you have done everything in your power to make it work. Mind you, if the very suggestion is making you shudder, you have the answer, too.

Hand on heart, I don't think it is either that simple or easy, so keep thinking and talking it over, until you feel comfortable with the decision you are taking.