The hurt continues hurting, is this normal or do I need to get over it?

[GlendaNorth]

DH has done a few quite hurtful (not physically) things to me ; I don't really want to go into what they are but very very thoughtless and mean with a side of borderline bullying. I spoke to him about it at the time and he seemed remorseful etc. However, despite the most recent major (to me) thing happening three weeks ago, last night I cried myself to sleep thinking about it. He really hurt me, and I was hoping I was over it by now, but apparently not.
I just want to know if this is normal? Am I being oversensitive? How do I move on?

What are your barriers to leaving?

He sounds really horrible.

Have you ever worked out what you'd have to live on if you did separate? When you have some free time go onto the Entitled To Calculator and also onto the Child Maintenance calculator.

Then think about your home. Is it rented or on a mortgage?

How long have you been married?

He doesn’t sound at all kind. Your partner should be kind! You do not have to put up with this man if you don’t want to.

I've been with him since I was 17, I'm now 43. I have no idea about finances as he deals with that I have access to the money via credit cards but no idea how much there is. (I have been trying to address this).

It must be scary considering leaving, as you've been with him all your adult life.

But you still have 40 odd years ahead of you too, you don't need to spend them being bullied by him.

If you're married, if the credit cards are in your name(?), but the debt on them is buying things that benefit him as well (household stuff etc) the debt would be considered joint in divorce settlements. If he's denying you other access to money in order to force you into debt, that would be financial abuse. (But do remember too, creditcard debt is also not a priority debt and can be written off or otherwise managed).

He would have to disclose finances in a divorce.

His behaviour over the finances sounds like financial abuse. His belittling you etc is emotionally abusive. You could speak to Women's Aid or domestic abuse services in your area. You may be eligible for legal aid for a divorce and they can talk to you about your options for splitting. Rights of Women offer legal advice too.