Kids before marriage & now finally tying the knot- what did you do?

[madmumNika]

My DP & I have been together just over 5 years and have DS (2.5 yrs) & DD (4 months). Marriage has never been particularly high on our agenda & neither of us are religious, but to my great surprise DP proposed to me while I was pregnant with DD and we are now planning to tie the knot in June '08.

I don't feel a traditional wedding is right for us & we're going to have a civil ceremoney...But I'm a little unsure about what I should wear (a 'proper' wedding dress seems inappropriate) & whether to follow conventions with the reception.

What did others do in our position?

Many thanks xxxx

Our DD was 11mo when we married. We had a civil ceremony and I did wear a traditional dress. We didn't go down the religious road as neither of us are religious, but I didn't feel remotely self-conscious about the fact that we already had a child.

We weren't into the pomp and ceremony of a traditional do. I was pregnant with DD2 when we got married. I wore a £28 dress from New Look and the only people there were my immediate family and the minibus driver who was taking us to our favourite restaurant after the ceremony.

DH changed into his shorts on the way to lunch as it was such a hot day. Had a ball even if most of my (not invited) family sneered at its unconventionality.

My dd1 was 11 months when we married a yr ago nx wk. We had civil ceremony and i had a luuuverlyyy wedding dress and a fab after party. But i knew i wanted a huge wedding.

We only had immediate family and friends at actual ceremony. Then more came to meal and then eventually to the evening more came! It'll be your day do what you feels right otherwise you won't fully relax on day.

I'd say that it's your wedding and you should have whatever kind of day you want. That's the same advice I'd give to anyone, whether they had dc or not.
Congratulations and I hope you have a lot of fun planning your day.
Oh - don't be at all surprised if what you end up doing differs from what you think you want now ... my wedding was so different from my original plans that it was unrecognisable - but it was perfect!

We have been together for 19 years and got married in April this year. We have 4 dc who are 16 nearly 12, 3yrs and a 1yr old.

We got married at Gretna Green with about 30 people there(10 of whom were children).Only had my parents/his parents and brothers and sisters and the dc of everyone plus my 3 friends.

Everyone stayed at the hotel the night before the wedding and had a meal and music in the evening.

Had a babysitter for the evening so we could have a dance. It was fab!!!

My ds1 was the best man and ds2 gave me away,the dd's were flower girls. I wore a proper wedding dress and loved it.The men wore kilts.

Gretna was lovely and the hotel took care of the flowers and cake too. Was very reasonably priced too.

Do whatever you feel like .

Two of my cousins married with their wives pregnant in a long white wedding gown. Both of them already had a toddler as well.

One of my cousins is getting married next summer but has already completed her family because "she wants to be slim in her wedding dress". My daughter is going to be her bridesmaid. Lovely.

We got amrried when ds1 was three months old, not intentionally- we were engaged when he was conceived 9that bit was intentional though, but we had expected it to take longer for a few reasons). We didnt want to pull it forwards though, a few people were a bit hmmmm about us as a couple and we didnt want to make ti look anything other than decent, iykwim? (hey we lived in a very rural backwater LOL- none of my other friends or family conceioved unmarried- heaven forbid! )

We ahd a civil ceremony but that was my choice as I'd ahd a previous almost- wedding in a Church and wanted this to be different. We based it on teh conventions and then just played with it a bit- bridesmaids kicked off about lots of crap (eg wanted 2 dresses each) so were diched (or rather they walked out and I refused to grovel for them to return as I was supposed to..... LOL0, and I had a Best Woman. The ceremony was in a hotel where we aslo ahd the reception, there was a waterfall / lake etc and it was gorgeous. I wore a long dark grey shot silk dress with Navy Indian Sari style embroidery and a matching coat (it was march so unsure of the weather). Dh wore a gold frock coat (show off!!!!).

We did Gretna Green too when dd was 2 months old.

We had got engaged before I was pregnant and we had booked a huge church wedding with a big reception afterwards but when I found out I was pg the whole big white wedding just didnt appeal for some reason.

So I did a bit of research and we decided to go to Gretna just after christmas.

It was lovely. Just a handful of close family and we all stayed in the same hotel for 2 nights.
My dress and cape was from Monsoon and dh hired out a morning suit.

We ended up getting a package deal which included the honeymoon suite, meal, photographer, car or horse and carriage to the anvil and then you had the option of booking the piper which we did.

I'd recommend it to anyone. The people there are so lovely and its such a cute place.

If you would like to wear a lovely wedding dress its fine. I mean I didn't wear a big flamboyant one, but I never would have with or without dc.

I really loved that ds (8mths at the time) was there on our wedding day. I really don't think it's inappropriate at all anymore.
It will be a wonderful day, just with the whole family which can be really beautiful (sob - nostalgic!).