Fucking fed up...

[LemonMeringueThreePointOneFour]

...with being fucking interminably single.

It seems so easy for other people to form relationships, but I just can't do it. It makes me feel ashamed, frustrated, lonely, isolated and angry.

I've had one relationship that lasted just over two years. One other of about 16 months. Since then, single (other than several highly unsuccessful short flings) for over 15 years - nothing beyond three or four months with a selection of utter bastards (so not just a case of amicably deciding it wasn't working out, but lying, cheating, ghosting; the works).

It's pathetic - teenagers manage to have longer relationships than that. I'm such a fucking loser - the only single person in my family and almost the only single person among my friends.

Sometimes the impotent fury at the way life has turned out feels like it's going to consume me and I can't imagine now how I could possibly trust or open up to anyone.

The three month dating mark is the test! You've just learnt how it works. You know what you want and arent prepared to put up with any sh1t.
View it this way, its not you, they're not right. What would you rather have?
Teenagers have longer relationships, because they've not learnt any better.
It's not easy to form relationships when you have high expectations. It just means they may take longer. Yeah, it's sh1te, there's nothing you can do about it. But be proud that you're not having to settle for second best. Chin up! You're not alone x

I was you. So lonely it physically hurt. I started to work on me. Practiced mindfulness, worked on being at peace with myself. Then when I least expected it my DP came into my life. Been together 6 years. Love him and I am happiest I ever been. Maybe relax a little and things will come to you.

As the PP said, you've got to work on you OP.
There are loads of TedX talks and podcasts and books about how single people are the majority and having better health, wealth and happiness - despite the contrary being spouted.

Be that person. Don't wait for someone to complete you. They can complement your life when they come along but you need to be you now.

The Single Thing podcast.
Lane Moore Ted Talk
Bella DePaulo Ted Talk
Catherine Gray book

So in an ideal world (I know it doesn't exist but let's indulge for a moment), what would your ideal man be like?

Do you enjoy sports, creative hobbies, nature, travel, writing, cars?

For example if you are into nature go to a birdwatching meet-up, or a srar-gazing weekend.

Or join the local library book club.
Or the local park run

Think outside the box on where to go, what to do, there are more single people than you think.

You’re just hanging out in the wrong groups OP, if all the ones you’re meeting are such arseholes. And there are a lot of arseholes out there. You’ve set yourself a high bar, and that’s good. So many people just settle, or stay in poor relationships. Don’t think that all the couples you see are living the fairy tale, because chances are they aren’t. I believe that things happen for a reason, and I’m sure the one for you is out there, it just means planning - as pp’s have said, find a club or group that shares your interests/hobbies, and you might find your soul mate there.

I'm exactly the same OP, rubbish isn't it. So fed up with being the single one at weddings/parties/dinner parties/Christmas etc. Have missed my chance to have children now due to my age.

I know people that have got married, separated, divorced, met someone new and got remarried and I'm still single. I don't know how people do it.

I'm very sociable and I have a nice life but feel I have missed out on so much.

I know people that have got married, separated, divorced, met someone new and got remarried and I'm still single. I don't know how people do it.

@Dreamer111 - God, yes, this! I've seen people go through the entire process of leaving one marriage and entering into another one during which time I haven't even managed to have a single solitary date.

I feel like saying, "But it's my fucking turn!"

Life isn't fair. I got into plenty of relationships, but I'd have been better off out of them. Like you, I used to think "But it's my fucking turn!" -but in my case, I meant just to be with someone who didn't take the piss. I wondered how women found men who supported and cherished them instead of hammering them into the ground.

Things changed completely in my life when I followed @OliveToboogie's advice.

It's the only solution, really.