Been with DP for about 6 years, it's a long distance relationship (70 miles distance). We worked together at first but then he moved away about six months into our relationship as his ex wife moved to be closer to her parents and he wanted to be near the children and couldn't see them in the week if he stayed here! He'd been planning to move when we got together. I know that sounds weird but he has no ties here (apart from me). Why did I even agree to remain in a relationship with him you may ask but I had been ill with breast cancer and wasn't thinking straight and couldn't cope with us breaking up at that moment in time and didn't have the emotional resources so I agreed to a long distance relationship. He begged me to stay with him, said he loved me, we'd make it work etc. At first he rented and then he says he's going to buy a house near his children for security and financial reasons so that he's not just renting and I even help him find a house. Then he wants me to move up there when my children have finished school but I start to feel a bit stronger and say that there's no way I'm moving up there (where he lives is really horrible anyway and he has no friends there) and he'll have to move back down here. I'm not going to compromise for someone who can't compromise for me. My friends, family and job are here. He agrees that he'll move back here but doesn't exactly say when!! He says to start with he'll get a job half way and share time between his house and mine. However, his children are younger than mine - 9 and 12 and mine are 16 and 18. He doesn't show any signs of looking for a job, it's not the right time!! I'm being taken for a mug aren't I? He hardly has his children either! Every other weekend Saturday 10am to Sunday 5pm and every Wednesday evening from 4.30 to 6pm. The rest of the time he's on his own and moans that he's lonely and that I don't talk enough on the phone (I work full time and have two children and am, for all intent and purposes a single mother). I speak to him on my way to work, way back and once before I go to bed!! I don't actually have that many things to say.
I have my life here and don't see why I should throw everything away to move somewhere I don't like, where he's just moved to be near his children (10 mins from ex wife). Also, he's my support bubble but we only see each other every other weekend when we don't have the children. He thinks I should not see friends on the weekend we don't have any children as that's a compromise I should make to be with him. As we don't get much time to spend together, I should spend that time with him, which I did at first. Apparently, I can't see my friends on those weekends. I'm stupid aren't I? But he loves me so much, apparently!! I did really love him, or so I thought, and put up with this because I thought he was being a good dad but I'm not sure if I'm unreasonable or he is. It could be years before we're together. Am I wasting my time. Will he say he's prepared to move and then when it comes to it back out. If a man moves to be closer to his children, somewhere where he knows nobody, there's no way he's moving back here away from there is there? Can't believe I'm actually writing this, it sounds ridiculous. Also, I've been with him for 6 years and when I ask my friends or family what they think, they say they don't really know him. He doesn't give anything away. I'm not sure if he's socially awkward, shy or just doesn't want people to know him. He says that I'm the only person he's been so open with!! Sorry for the ramblings.