I think I got ghosted

[Vinie]

Hi,

I need some advice on what to do next.

So after my friend B'day a guy added me on fb and started talking to me. We didn't really talk at the party so I didn't know him, only heard his name a few times through mutual friends. Anyway, the first time he texted we talk for 3hrs straight, then the next night about 2hrs, then 4hrs, then on and off through out the day since we are bothworking. He hinted that we want to take me out and eventually we scheduled a date. Before the date i have met him twice in a group gathering but we don't really interact or talk cause we don't know each other well and our friends doesn't know we've been talking. However, a week before we meet up the texting die down to only 1 or 2 msgs a day. I started to feel a bit distance and felt like he wasn't that interested in talking to me, but my friend who I told said maybe he was just really busy.

So he insist on picking me up for our date, we had a great time talking and laughing but i didn't feel anyromantic feelings toward him, it felt more likea catch up with a friend vibe. I do kinda like him I think, but I don't know how he felt. After dinner he drop me home and then we texted a bit and that is it. The next 2 days he texted me but it was a very short conversations. After that he stop texting me, itsbeen 2 days andI think since we don't feel any romantic feelings on our date, he probably decided to stop talking to me. i'm not sure, but that how I feel.

I'm not sure whether to leave it be or to send him a text and see what happen.

If you don't have any romantic feelings for him why pursue it? It seems pretty clear he feels the same. You probably will run in to each other again, next time you do you could talk to him, but it really seems like this is going nowhere.

It sounds like just a friendship rather than a budding romance so don't worry about texting levels?

I just thought that usually it will take at least a few dates to see if feelings develop, I didn't think that after 1 date he will just stop. When we messaged I thought we got along really well, having the same interests and stuff.

My first thought is, I am glad neither of you are working for me..

I think ghostings a weird term. People can be busy, or anxious, or stop replying because they’re sick or anything. It’s two days. To me the term puts pressure on people to reply instantly and explain when they don’t want to continue a purely online relationship which was perhaps not going well for them for some reason. Yes, in this case you met so it’s politely to let you know he didn’t feel the same, but in the olden days it’s the equivalent of them not calling back. No biggie. He’s either busy for a couple of days or not worth pursuing.

I don’t think this is ghosting. It’s just petered out

I agree with PPs that it isn't really ghosting as nothing has happened between you two. You went out, spoke for a bit, it was fine, that's it! You have said yourself that there is no romantic feelings so what do you want from him?

I don't think it's ghosting either.

You chatted for a bit; you went out; you didn't have any romantic feelings for him; he seemingly felt the same; it fizzled out.

As an aside, if a guy you don’t know ‘insists’ on picking you up for a date, be wary and don’t allow it. This guy you hardly know now knows where you live. From a safety perspective, that’s not great. Also, in relation to anything else he can ‘insist’ all he likes, you still don’t have to agree.

Maybe he felt the same as you? In that, once you got together there wasn’t really a spark. No biggie really, you’ve already said you don’t have any romantic feelings so on to the next as they say 😂

It's just fizzled out, probably for the best as you say there was no spark, it saves further awkward, polite texts when neither of you are really interested, let it go.

He did you a favour. Move on.

Thank you everyone for your advice and opinions. It has helped me see things a lot clearer now.