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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

To be very pissed at this

9 replies

Downtown10 · 09/04/2021 01:56

My ex and I recently broke up and now have to share time with dd. Im not pissed that we have separated. It's his family. Exs family have never been bothered about seeing dd and have never made much effort to see dd. Dd is almost two and exs family have visited dd at our home twice.

Now that time will be shared they will see dd more but not because of effort they are making. They like to make out to others that they are the perfect grandparents/aunties/uncles and are so involved when I know this isn't true. I just know they will post photos on social media so others think they're the perfect family.

Am I being petty getting annoyed about this.

OP posts:

jessstan2 · 09/04/2021 04:43

Frankly, yes.

Newcastleteacake · 09/04/2021 04:50

It is very annoying but there isn't anything you can do about it so I would just smile and wave... smile and wave.

It's really not worth you wasting your energy on.

junebirthdaygirl · 09/04/2021 04:56

Maybe as they get to know her better they will be a bonus in her life. A child can never have too many people who love her. Be positive about them in your communication with dd.
You could mention to her dad that you are not comfortable with her picture being on social media.
My gd visits me with my son as he is not with her mum any longer. I would never put her picture anywhere public as l feel it's not my place but also because my ds wouldn't like it. He will have influence over that.

amylou8 · 09/04/2021 05:56

Let them get on with it. Just remove them from all your social media so you don't have to see it.

category12 · 09/04/2021 07:35

Maybe look at it this way - one of the advantages of them performing for social media is that they do actually have to do photo-worthy things with your dd. Which will be nice for her.

Don't waste your energy being mad over it. Unless it helps.

TheRulesDontApplyToMe · 09/04/2021 07:36

You need to let it go. They’re your ex’s family. Why give them a second thought.

Original poster

Downtown10 · 09/04/2021 08:36

They are just so false and two faced and what's worse is they bad mouth people infront of kids. My ex has another dd, I heard his family call her all the bad words under the sun infront of the child. She was at the age to understand those words.

OP posts:

CirqueDeMorgue · 09/04/2021 09:58

Yes, petty but my DD's dad's family are like this too, it's laughable. Don't give a shiny shit about her day to day but when it comes to Facebook...

jessstan2 · 09/04/2021 11:32

@Downtown10

I'd object to that, it's horrible. I think I'd have to speak to my ex and tell him to instruct his parents to rein in their gossipy comments in front of children. When they get to a certain age, children will repeat what they hear adults say.

I know what I am talking about because I grew up with insensitive gossip going on around me; my family thought it was 'normal' but I learned all sorts of things about neighbours, 'friends' and other relations, a lot of which was speculation and hyperbole, totally unsuitable for such young ears.

When I was older I admonished my mother about it. She wasn't very happy but I reminded her that other people probably talked about her and her family (I know they did).

One good thing came out of it, I never did it and did not allow anyone else to do so in front of my offspring.

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