Abusive relationship

[outtill10pm]

Finally come to the realisation I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship. Had a feeling something has been 'off' for a while and after having several complete breakdowns as well as ringing the gp thinking I needed medication I've realised I'm just in an awful relationship.

I'm so sad it's come to this as I just wanted a happy family and I'm absolutely devistated

I don't know why I'm posting this on here/at all.. guess I just don't want to feel alone anymore

You definitely aren't alone here :-)

I know what it is like to be in an emotionally abusive relationship - I'm still with my husband now but I turned the tables by refusing to give him the power to control my feelings. Work on you as you cant change him!

I ended up being diagnosed with a mental illness from too much trauma so therapy has helped 110%. Make a plan to work on you x

Hi look up the Freedom Programme, have some therapy too if you can afford this, let other close friends and family know. Abuse thrives on secrecy. Read Lundy Bancroft - Why does he do that - it’s a free pdf if you search/google this -= you could speak to women’s aid too depending which country your in. 💐

@Dimebag10M
Thank you, I'm definitely working on that, have started looking in to getting a therapist as I'm so worn down by the years of insults and turning everything on me.. I have no idea of a 'normal' relationship and I think that's why it's taken so long to see. I'm hoping now I can work on myself eventually building myself up to leave (fingers crossed)

[quote outtill10pm]@Dimebag10M
Thank you, I'm definitely working on that, have started looking in to getting a therapist as I'm so worn down by the years of insults and turning everything on me.. I have no idea of a 'normal' relationship and I think that's why it's taken so long to see. I'm hoping now I can work on myself eventually building myself up to leave (fingers crossed) [/quote]
Have you made your mind up that you want to leave? If you are in the UK, look up Talking Therapies to start with, or speak with your GP at looking at assessments if you think there is something more deep seated. You deserve so much more x

@Whydidimarryhim

Hi look up the Freedom Programme, have some therapy too if you can afford this, let other close friends and family know. Abuse thrives on secrecy. Read Lundy Bancroft - Why does he do that - it’s a free pdf if you search/google this -= you could speak to women’s aid too depending which country your in. 💐

I will do thank you for that, I've read why does he do that and that really helped to open my eyes to what was going on... I've been in contact with woman's aid twice but still need to get a plan in place, it's just when I can actually leave that I need to work out

@Dimebag10M yeah I have made up my mind I want to leave unless some drastic changes are made, I've told him about my concerns which are laughed at and then flipped back on me to me being the abusive one - so there is pretty much no other option left. I get so upset because I thought I was abusive for so long and I was so willing to do anything to make it okay and try and change but he won't even listen to what I have to say

Predators like him dont change unfortunately.

Get your plan in place as quickly and quietly as possible and get ot done.

Often they either get worse or suddenly start acting fake nice to fuck with your head if they realise you are thinking of escaping them.

You can do it.
And always remember- Your feelings are valid.

@Wanderlusto
Yeah this has happened before and he's done the whole 'I just want things to be like they used to/I want us to be happy' rubbish and then 2 days later I'm being called a bitch and nasty etc and he couldn't think of anyone he hates more! Too much hot and cold, never knowing who I'm dealing with!