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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this anything to worry about?

5 replies

Slinkymelinki · 11/11/2007 00:27

Its a new friend of mine and i mean new. A couple of months and I know her from running club (twice weekly) we've been on a couple of social nights and she invites me round a lot cos we have DD of the same age.

Anyway, she is married to her 2nd hubby ( who is a millionaire) and appears to have a very nice life. But on the occasions we have socialised, she always has to get home by a certain time. Then on Sunday, she asked me to pick her up for the long run, which i did, and when we finished, she was anxious cos we had been longer than she'd told hubby and so phoned him immediately. (whilst i drove us back) and he said that he was going to f-ing kick her arse,... and mine too Anywhoo, when i pulled up outside her house, he was stood waiting with his mate (they were off to play badminton and had booked a court) and he told her to "farking get inside cos he was going to smash her face in". Now, she has since assured me it was a joke but even in the best case senario of this being a joke. Its out of order isnt it? Infront of her new friend and his friend?

And as i drove off, i saw friend being kicked up the arse by hubby all the way into the house. Which again could be construed as joking but still, not very nice, is it? I asked friend if she was ok and not really in trouble at running club the following week but she kind of laughed it off and i wasnt so sure. Tonight me and DP have been to their bonfire party and afterwards, I shared my thoughts with DP and he says oh yeah he could tell a mile off. The guys a control freak and she has no choice but to oblige cos she likes the lifestyle that being with him affords her!!! This worries me! Shes lovely. But do i listen to partner and leave well alone? Or try and look out for her in some way?

OP posts:
Spidermama · 11/11/2007 00:29

I'd be worried yeah.

I would stay friends with her and let her know you're there for her.

Alambil · 11/11/2007 00:49

do NOT get involved (not obviously I mean) - it will come back at her twice as bad...

Make sure she knows you are there for her, be a friend - be normal.

Hope and pray she sees that money is no substitute for self-esteem and worth, and pride. If and when she does realise this - give her the phone number of Women's Aid.

Slinkymelinki · 11/11/2007 01:11

Gosh so im not alone in thinking there is something wrong...

OP posts:
warthog · 11/11/2007 08:44

definitely not right at all. continue to be friends. let her know that you're there if she ever needs you no matter what it is and don't let him stop you being friends with her.

minouminou · 11/11/2007 21:55

hate to say this, but do a certain amount of kow-towing to her utter knobhead of a husband, too....
soon as he spots you're on to him, he'll slam the shutters down and you'll not see your chum again
also, he might get violent with you - bet he thinks he's entitled to
f**kwad

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