Friend's boyfriend's 12th child!!

[novaparty12]

I am really concerned about a friend of mine. She is 10 years younger than me and was like a little sister to me when we were growing up. She has just told me she is pregnant with her 2nd child but her partners 12th !!! Her partner who is one of my ex's from many years ago is very rich, very good looking and a total charmer. My friend has had a hard childhood with lots of horrible things happen and I am sure this man has taken advantage of her vulnerability. When she fell pregnant with her first baby 18 months ago his gf was 8 months pregnant with his child, so he has 2 children, 10 months apart from different mothers. He denies having this many children and tells her that i am lying as are the other people that keep warning her off him. They now live 35 miles away as his older children were starting to frequent pubs restaurants etc and he kept running into them and in our small town he was very well known for his string of women and children although he always denied it, so he started up a new business just before lockdown in a new town. He leaves all the mothers when the children hit school age and they find it hard to make time for him. He loves the baby bubble bit and he is very very helpful to her he does lots of the feeds and treats my friend like a princess. He has told her that she is the "one" and none of his exes have ever measured up - exactly like he says to most of the baby mothers. She seems really happy at the moment which is good but I worry that in a few years it will go wrong and she is in a strange town away from anybody that cares for her. I don't think there is anything I can really do. My mum who is also like a mum to her says we need to get her back home soon before she gets hurt but she is a fully grown adult and currently seems happy. I think we just need to let her get on with it. I will not and cannot fall out with her but at the same time feel guilty as I know what this man is like!!

Unfortunately there is little I think you can do about this.

The man has a role model in the Prime Minister. Though at least he publicly seems to acknowledge all his children.

There really is nothing you can do apart from wait for when it goes wrong, which it will. She will have her head in the sand and think she’s different from the rest and you won’t be able to persuade her otherwise.

If he's very rich he must be paying for them all.

You can be very pragmatic about it and take the view that plenty of relationships end anyway. If she gets five or six years of him as a good, supportive dad and partner, who then continues to provide good financial support afterwards, then has she really done so badly? She could have gotten together with Mr Straight and Clean with no other DC and eventually ended up a single parent from that relationship as well.

She isn’t going to listen to anyone telling her anything she doesn’t want to hear right now. And she’s an adult woman, she doesn’t need your mum to rescue her. Just be a good friend if and when it does all go wrong and let her know you’ll be there for her.

Just got to let it play out. There's literally nothing you can do. Is he the father on all the birth certificates?

If you scratch around far enough you may find out he was abandoned at school age, or something like that, but it doesn't help your friend.

Just be ready for when she is cast aside.

All you can do is be there to pick up the pieces when he moves on to his next conquest. And encourage her not to be a SAHM as she's unlikely to see more than a token amount of CM if it's split between that many children...

Well she is going to get hurt either way now so I would just make sure she knew I was there for her and let it run its course. He will lose interest in a few years as per usual and leave and she can pick up the pieces then. She'll need good friends at that time. But some things, a person list has to learn for herself.