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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH using Girl Cams?

43 replies

Bobbibruce · 06/04/2021 20:39

I think my DH could be either watching or using Naked Girl Cams on his computer but he keeps passwords private, browses incognito etc.
How can I find out for sure? He is the administrator on the PC as well.
I used to think that everyone was sent spam emails of dubious sites like these as I get them in my tablet. All the devices are linked in the household. I only seem to get these emails after my DH has spent some time on his computer, never any other time. I often wonder if he can see what I am doing on Mumsnet! He has had a problem with porn in the past but I thought he had stopped.

OP posts:
Washingtofold · 06/04/2021 22:48

@Bobbibruce

No it’s not ogling only@LancesGold. For example we will be at a function and I see his gaze following a woman we do not know then if she leaves the room to have a cig outside he will say he’s just away out for some fresh air, follow her and engage her in conversation to find out as much as possible about her, giving her his undivided attention. When he does this, I am watching from a distance and any woman he does it to is flattered in the extreme. He is v good looking and they don’t seem to see past this.
So basically he’s a predator who has dubious possibly illegal fetishes ? Why havnt you reported his liking for ‘very young ‘ women to the police . How are you certain they are all over the legal age if they all look very young And why in Gods name are you with this filthy man. No matter how many apologies he gives
Closetbeanmuncher · 07/04/2021 00:54

OP he honestly sounds repulsive. Surely there is a better life for you than with this revolting predator??

No way would I share my life or my bed with that.

Amberheartkitty · 07/04/2021 01:02

You need to work on yourself and the rest will follow. You must be feeling quite low about yourself if you accept this sort of behaviour.

You sound lovely. But insecure and anxious (and it’s not surprising given how he’s treating you). He sounds like a manipulative self centred prick.

MMmomDD · 07/04/2021 02:30

Not sure OP. Other than your being vigilant and watching his gaze while in public - and your device spamming situation - you have said nothing about your relationship.
Are you two having fun together? Is there closeness and intimacy? Does he make you feel loved? Is he a good partner?

You mention that he is good looking and charming. Has that always been an issue for your self esteem?
Why is it predatory that he chats to people when in public? Has he ever given you a reason to suspect there was more?
You sound down and unhappy. Is it really about him being flirty and noticing other women - because on its own it can be harmless.
Or is there more?

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 07/04/2021 06:35

What? He goes after other women right in front of you. Right in front of you he is persuing and chatting up other women and you are still with him? Why the fuck are you even going home with this man yet alone still with him?

ILoveAfternoonTea · 07/04/2021 06:43

Limiting the WiFi is not getting to the cause of the issue, if he is still looking at porn that is

He can still use private data on his phone

You need evidence and then you need to talk

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 07/04/2021 07:19

Limiting WiFi is going to do what precisely? He's not 11 and it's passive aggressive. You are looking at the wrong part of the problem.

mylovelydd · 07/04/2021 07:46

Please ignore Mmomdd's reply OP. They seem to come on posts like this to tell the poster they need to basically ignore any cuntish behaviour their man exhibits and that they are essentially wrong Hmm
Nice inference that the OP has low self esteem too...hardly surprising if she does after his behaviour ffs

Bluntpencil · 07/04/2021 07:53

If you restrict Wi-fi at home he will just turn Wi-fi off on his phone and use private mode.

Motnight · 07/04/2021 07:56

I can bet you that a fair percentage of the women your dh pays attention to think he is a slimey creep, Op.

Motnight · 07/04/2021 07:56

I can bet you that a fair percentage of the women your dh pays attention to think he is a slimey creep, Op.

Notagain20 · 07/04/2021 08:10

Good for you for starting to reflect on his behaviour and what you want going forward. Don't give yourself a hard time about what you've put up with in the past, none of us can judge you for that, the main thing is that you take really good care of yourself now x

Notagain20 · 07/04/2021 08:12

@Motnight

I can bet you that a fair percentage of the women your dh pays attention to think he is a slimey creep, Op.
I thought exactly this!
Thatwentbadly · 07/04/2021 08:20

[quote Bobbibruce]@youvegottenminuteslynn
Yes it does bother me. I’d like to restrict it on the Wifi and see how he reacts. He was full of remorse when I found it last time and promised not to. He said he clicked on one pop up and one thing led to another. I believed him but as I say I was probably very naive in that. And he does behave in some ways that creep me out. Other women seem to enjoy the attention and give me pitying looks as they are under the impression he is only interested in them but it’s not the case. It’s any one of the female species.[/quote]
The other women probably think he is a creep, a potentially dangerous one and are wondering how to safely get a way from him which is why they are not being abrupt and are looking around for you for help. But yes they are probably pitying you.

Washingtofold · 07/04/2021 08:23

@mylovelydd

Please ignore Mmomdd's reply OP. They seem to come on posts like this to tell the poster they need to basically ignore any cuntish behaviour their man exhibits and that they are essentially wrong Hmm Nice inference that the OP has low self esteem too...hardly surprising if she does after his behaviour ffs
Absolutely this

OP theres a small group of women and men here who are pro porn even with all the evidence of how many of the porn sites have had horrible content of abuse and underage and been in lots of trouble and who will tell women that objecting to men’s pathetic behaviour are the ones just being ‘insecure ‘
Don’t buy into it
You seriously need to question by you are with this man . He sound completely revolting and the things he does are completely not ok

EarthSight · 07/04/2021 08:30

It's not what he does that's the main issue here, it's who he is.

I think you've been trying to ignore aspects of him that have made you feel uneasy. I find it difficult to believe that these are the only issues in your relationship.

Shoxfordian · 07/04/2021 09:15

He sounds like a creep
Why do you want to stay married to him?

Shoxfordian · 07/04/2021 10:22

He sounds like a creep
Why do you want to stay married to him?

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