Hello,
I suppose this is me asking whether I am being unreasonable.
I cut contact with my mother since I was 18 years old, she is a very toxic person, has caused me a lot of grief in my life.
To cut long story short she split with my father when I was about 8 years old, since then, she's used me as a weapon to hurt his feelings in many different ways, my dad was not allowed to contact or see me, nor was any of his family.
She would refuse to buy me or my brother any new clothes or items needed for school as according to her she did not have any money, but would get lip fillers, hair extensions, permanent make up and many more.
This one time she refused to give me money for shampoo, we run out and I was going to school the next day. She was laughing at me, making comments. I had to go with greasy hair and was bullied that day badly.
She uses to bring different men home all the time, drink and argue with them.
I could go on forever abour her behaviour, she is not a mother material.
As soon as I started working, which was when I was 16, she started stealing money from me. One day I confronted her about it. I was never an argumentative person and never challenged her before or stood up for myself. Whenever she did not like something I did, she woukld give me the silent treatment for many days until I begged her for forgiveness.
After confronting her about the money, we had an argument, I went to work. When I came back, she was clearly tipsy, called me some nasty names and said some hurtful things. All I did was stand and listen. All my things were already bagged up in bin bags and she made it clear she did not want me in the house, I left. Since then I've had no contact.
She blocked me on SM and as she was still texting me abuse, I blocked her number.
Fast forward 7 years, as I still keep in contact with my grandma who is my mom's mum, my mum found out through her that I'm pregnant. She now unblocked me on SM and wants to regain contact, but I do not. My gran was insistent on me speaking to my mom again and kept saying things like, you're too stubborn, she is your mum you should respect her in whatever circumstances.
My mum's new husband has been messaging me on SM telling me I should be talking to her. I feel guilt tripped.
In the past years she has had many opportunities to speak with me, we live in the same time, she has walked past me on the street many times and never even said hello.
All this is messing with my head, she has done a lot more to me than what I've described above, a lot worse things.
Now she, her mother and partner are insisting I forgive her because that's the right thing to do.
I'm not looking for any sympathy I'd just like to know from people who have cut contact with their family members, did you regret not regaining contact when they tried reaching out?
Any advice on how I can handle this?
Many thanks