I'm (23M) having doubts about my relationship.

[Idkthrow]

Hello.

First of all, sorry if my english is not good enought but it is not my mother language.

Okay. I have been with my girlfriend (23F) for the past 2 years. She is a wonderful person and has been with me in very hard times. I used to think that she was gonna be my girl for the rest of our lives but now im having doubts. In the past Christmas I started working in a new place. There I met a girl (26F) and we sort of connect. We don't have a lot of things in common but i know she likes me and i kinda like her too i think. Don't get me wrong im never gonna cheat in my girlfriend because I know how it feels and if I broke with her I am not gonna start dating the other girl right away. But the point is, I am having doubts about my relationship with a girl with whom I don't have much in common so that makes me think that maybe i am not that in love and is no the girl I really want.

Also for me is gonna be really difficult to broke with her because her family loves me and i love her family and I know if i broke with her she is going to have a very hard time and the last thing I want is to make her feel bad. Two years and we have a lot of bridges to burn if we broke up.
Im not thinking about dating my coworker in the future. The thing that bothers me is that a person who is not similar to me is making me feel insecure about my relationship
Im really confuse about this all maybe is just a rough patch but im scared.

Hope you can help me, thanks in advance.

I think you've overinvested too young. It sounds as though the family have as well. The best senario would be you being honest with your GF about feeling as though it's going stale and take a break.

What are you scared about? Scared you will be unfaithful? Scared you are with the wrong person? Scared of losing your girlfriend's family if you break up? Scared you will hurt your girlfriend if you do breakup?

Think you need to work out why you are scared. You have to do what's best for you, and you are so young. Your personality and needs are changing and you're not the same person you were at 21, you may have outgrown each other.

Can you see yourself with your girlfriend for the rest of your life, or does that scare you?

Only you can work out what you want.

After 18 months or so the honeymoon time of the relationship wears off and reality kicks in after the initial excitement of being with each other dies down. Its a very common time to rethink things, and it is totally fine to want to break up and move on if your GF isnt the right person for you.

Youre also really young to make decisions about forever, so dont be too hard on yourself.

You are both still young and although you have been together for a couple of years, you are still maturing so it's very easy to change as a person in a relatively short time. Perhaps two years ago she was perfect for you , but maybe not so much now.
It normal at your age to like the look of other people and wonder what it would be like to be with them.
Perhaps you need to look at your relationship and decide if you want to stay together ?

You ARE thinking of dating your co worker but that's normal and OK.

You are too young to be in a deeply committed relationship is all. Tell her that it's over and have lots of relationships. It doesn't matter that you are enmeshed with her family. I was treated well by the family of my first boyfriend. They continued to treat me well after I broke up with him. It doesn't have to be black and white. Live your life and follow your heart.

“You are too young to be in a deeply committed relationship is all. Tell her that it's over and have lots of relationships. It doesn't matter that you are enmeshed with her family. I was treated well by the family of my first boyfriend. They continued to treat me well after I broke up with him. It doesn't have to be black and white. Live your life and follow your heart.”

This with bells on. At your age, it’s very normal to want to have a few relationships before settling down. That’s how you work out what works for you in relationships and what doesn’t. You’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, she will be deeply hurt. But the pain will pass. Most people have their heart broken at some time or another but they recover and go on to have successful future relationships.

You're young and want to split up with your girlfriend because you no longer have the right feelings for her.

It is fine to split up.

Also better for her to be free to meet someone who has the right feelings for her.

Her family wouldn't want her to be with a man who didn't love her.

You are only 23 years old. Split up with your girlfriend and find the right girl for you.

Much better to split up now and deal with the hurt than split up ten years down the line when you have children, or be miserable for years. Two years feels a long time but is nothing - you’re so young.

At your age I’d been with a boyfriend for four years and didn’t think I could end it because we’d had so much of our short lives together and so many plans. When we did split up, it was very tough. But it was 100% the right thing. I’m now married to someone else many years on and very happy.

Split up, experience life a bit. Then when you do settle you’ll know it’s right.

It's normal to still fancy other people whilst in a relationship. Especially at 23! As long as you dont act on it because you love your partner then its fine.

And let's be honest op, your gf is more than likely not the one you will spend the rest of your life with if you are only 23. You are bound to break up at some point.

Question is are you enjoying things enough for now? If so, stay. However, if the desire for other women is greater or if the relationship starts to feel not quite right...time to go!

99% of people in our lives are not permanent fixtures.

Its just a matter of deciding when the right time to leave is. Considering you seem happy with her and have no plans to act on fancying other women atm then it seems things are still good (that being said, it may be that the relationship is a bit too serious n full on for a young lad like yourself)

But when that changes, theres no need to feel guilty. Everything runs its course in time. As long as you end things respectfully and dont go cheating then you've nothing to feel bad for.

Aww OP - didn’t want to read and run. I’m 26 so not that much older than you but I would say if you’re having these doubts now after 2 years then end it. It will be painful and hard, but the longer you leave it the more painful and hard it will be

I read it all. Thanks for the help everyone. Much aprecciated