Fed up with online dating

[liska5]

I’ve been a single mum of two for a year, in a new country, and Covid on top. It’s difficult to manage the house on my own, with a full time job, making sure the kids are ok at school learning the new language. And it took me many months to finally accept that my relationship with my ex is really really over. Went through all the grief stages, denial, anger, depression what have you, and finally accepted that he’s gone and not coming back. Anyway, for distraction decided to try online dating as it’s impossible to meet people any other way now and it’s does get lonely being just with my kids everyday as I work from home. And I don’t know if it’s just me but oh boy, online dating sucks!! I’ve been on a few first dates, a couple of second dates, but the rest of the time it’s just judgemental pricks who vanish as soon as I mention that I have kids. I’m 41 - yes, I have kids, so what?? Why is that even remotely an issue if we haven’t even met yet and unless they are looking for a hookup? Anyway... it just seems such a waste of time and energy, engaging in a conversation with a stranger just to spend 3-4 days exchanging messages and then they disappear, or I meet them and they turn out to be just totally different from what I thought they’d be based on pictures etc? I don’t know, but I’m frustrated and disappointed. I tried stopping online dating completely but then suddenly I think, oh but if not this, I’ll never ever meet anyone, and I connect again. I do believe in chance meetings but after my previous relationships that didn’t work out I’m beginning to think that the universe has already given me all the chances and I’ve used them all up, so there’s just nothing else in store for me... Anyone else been in a similar situation and had success?

I'm on the dating thread, this is all normal unfortunately. I can't meet anyone I like who likes me back.

I think online dating is especially hard with lockdown, much harder to pop for a quick coffee when the coffee shops aren't open to sit in!

When I was doing it I did mention '2 kids' in my profile. No further details on age or gender. Of course there could be paedophiles but most men aren't and saying you have kids will stop wasting time on people who want a child free life.

I've only just introduced my kids after years of dating, so there's an easy way to avoid potential abusers - be very cautious who you introduce to your kids!

@liska5 have you thought about joining a Facebook friendship meet up group? Most areas have them and they are a way to meet people more naturally with no immediate pressures. Also you can get the measure of people right away, face to face.

I know exactly what you mean. I often berate myself for making such poor relationship choices. When I was in my early 20s I could have had anyone but the good ones go early and don’t get divorced (because they’re decent men in the first place).

I hated it, I only met one guy the rest never even got that far. He was really nice but also very messed up. When we finally met we got on but he wasn't ready and went off to sort himself out (apparently meeting me made him realise what a mess he is). I'm left feeling sad as I really liked him and think he liked me it just wasn't the right time.

You've only been single a year OP, I think it's too soon as it sounds like you have been heartbroken. Do you actually have the time to dedicate to a new relationship if you work full time and have 2 children?

I work full time with one child and have been single for 5 years. Downloaded the apps recently and deleted them within days.