Remember me? Turns out my rapist was married

[mermaidtales]

Hi, I've tried to copy my previous thread - Red flags? includes content some might find upsetting [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3793709-Red-flags-includes-content-some-might-find-upsetting www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3793709-Red-flags-includes-content-some-might-find-upsetting

H]]ope that's worked. Anyway, I did not end up taking any action against that man, I was desperate to forget it.

This weekend I've found out that he's been married for 25 years and has 2 daughters. I feel sick. I think the best thing to do is let sleeping dogs lie. But I have this horrid (and frankly nasty!) desire within me to anonymously let his wife know that he's been unfaithful. Am I just being nasty? I feel sad that these feelings are raked back up but that doesn't mean I should drop a bomb on somebody else's life.

So sorry to hear this. Have you had any counselling to help with what happened?

It won’t help you feel any better but it may help her to know what he has done.
I hope you are ok, try talk with someone and it will help you understand you feelings.

If this man is controlling then he maybe the same with his wife.
It could go either way. You may encourage the dw to break free from the rapey bastard. Or she may choose not to believe you .
Tread carefully, You have no idea what the dw may be going through on a regular basis.

I hope for yourself you have the support you need.

What the man did to you was horrific. It must be a shock to now find out he was married with children after having gone out with him for ten months.

If you told his wife the chances are she wouldn't believe you, especially if he is a perfect gentleman with her. You'd be surprised how many lead a double life. He'd make up some story about you.

I wish there was some way you could keep an eye on him from a distance and if you heard about him assaulting someone else, you could come forward. As things now stand, you have no proof and have to move on with your life.

I haven't read all of your other thread but if you haven't talked to a rape counsellor or confided in someone confidential in real life, please do so. Apart from it being cathartic, it is an independent record of what has happened to you if ever needed.

What a bastard, words fail me.

Good luck.