I met up with my abuser ex. No excuse other than I felt incredibly lonely and so joined bumble. I know many of you will judge me. I know I do.
He came up on bumble and I swiped tight. And matched. I sent a laughing emoji. We use to be so brilliant together, I am a bit of a fitness fanatic so we would do lots of activities together or he would join me on my long runs.
We arranged to meet over coffee. And this is when I realised I didn't love him anymore, which is great. But I did miss the giggles we had and the long chats over nothing and the people we knew. Job gossips and the pandemic. I want to empathise that I had covid in March last year and then complications at the back of that months later, or around the time we met up for coffee. I was unable to walk long distances, and had all sorts of neurological issues. He was a great support and one day suggested we go swimming and he booked this and off we went. I managed a little swim, then got out to shower and change. The changing area is great, with cubicles and great access to clean areas. But to my horror as I was changing, butt naked, taking off the towel off my head I notice he has been filming me as he had gone into the cubicle next to mine. Obviously I said what the hell are you doing, and as quickly as I could I got dressed, got out and waited for him to come out, I 2as really distressed and generally upset that he had filmed me while I was naked changing into my clothes and also quite disabled at the time as I was in a relapse. I never imagined he would do something like this, although he had been horrible at times during our 4 year relationship, this was just awful.
He came out and I confronted him, then told the manager at the swimming pool, and took a taxi home. Once home I called the police, they came, took a statement and arrested him, took his phone and they have called 3x after I have chased them for information with saying its with a specialist IT team. This incident happened last October and I have not heard anything.
I feel awful that this man felt so secure in what he did. And I feel awful because I feel like I called this uppon myself by getting back in contact.
I felt so lonely and going through a relapse just felt nice having that familiarity. My whole family is in Scandinavia. And so I guess I can only blame myself. I am disgusted with myself, disappointed that he felt so comfortable doing this to me and in a public swimming pool too. The reason I reported it to the police was I didn't want him selling whatever he managed to film on the Internet, and I could have been anyone, but he knew what he was doing.
I still have not managed to see family, or talk about it much, and he is a father to 4 girls with the youngest being 12.
But I know a lot of you will feel I am stupid for meeting up with him, and I take full accountability but I am not responsible for what he decided to do, film me butt naked in a public swimming pool. I have to say I feel so lonely with all of this and also like seeing i am not british this doesn't really matter with the police. But knowing my ex, this won't stop him doing this again.