if you've fallen out of love with someone...

[TLV]

can you fall back in love with them again?

Yes but it also depends on what you mean by "fallen out of love". I think expectations need to be revised as you move through a relationship.

I suppose it depends how far you have fallen out of love, it could be a long way back or just round the corner.

The longer you leave to work it out, the further the space is.

If you both want it to work it is easier, the sooner you try to sort things out the better.

That's a tough one to answer. Must depend on why you fell out of love with them surely? Was it just demands of daily life, children, etc. Or have they abused your trust and hurt you so badly you really feel you don't love them anymore?

Think if it's the first case scenario, then yes it probably is possible to fall back in love if you work very hard at the relationship , make time for each other and stop taking each other for granted.

I don't know anybody that has managed it though tbh.

if trust has been lost i think it's extremely difficult. if it's just about general life, a mountain of small tings, yes.

IMHO I think you need to love a person and also to be in love with them for a relationship to work.

You have to have the "being in love" bit from the start for it to survive the ups and downs....

I loved ex-dh but wasn't in love with him, so my pnd ruined everything.

When I fell in love with dp (and still fancy the pants off him more than 8 years later) I realised where the downfall had been with ex-dh.

I think that if you definitely had the phwoar!!!! "in love" bit to start with there's a chance that you can get it back. Perhaps with a bit of effort, planning a romantic eve or weekend away, you could start to rekindle things.... and set aside a regular time for each other and keep up the effort (from both of you).

I hate seeing relationships fail so I wish you all the luck in the world that you can get through what must be a difficult time. (assuming you're asking from a personal situation)

I am thanks,

I think falling in love with someone is different from loving someone. I think most relationships start with falling in love, and this either develops into love or it doesn't, and the relationship fizzles out.

I've never fallen back in love with someone so not sure if it possible from my experieces!

OverMyDeadBody, with hindsight I realise I never fell in love with exDH. I liked him, felt safe and secure and comfortable with him, began to love him but never really had the Phwoar effect. So when the PND got me and made life hard I realised that I never fancied him properly, just thought that I had. Meeting DP confirmed all this and there was major Phwoar!

And life had been incredibly hard for us lately, we too tired and stressed for sex (sorry TMI) BUT I'm not missing the 'Phwoar'!!!

So you see, I do think that people can get into a relationship where they love someone but not be totally 'in love'.

And that while we are not feeling very sexual towards each other atm I know we can get it back when times are better. We still touch each other in passing and he'll stroke my hair and I'll soothe his face, we are still relatively tactile and that gives us a connection.

TLV, how does that relate to you? Do you think you can salvage your relationship? (((((((((((((((((((((((((TLV)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I agree with you klaw, about not having to fall in love with someone and have the phwooor effect to then love them, also think that just because you fall in love with someone doesn't mean you will love them.

With my exH although I thought I 'fell in love with him' at the start, I certainly didn't love him, ever.

I guess relationships that develop with just love, as opposed to any initial falling in love, probably have a better chance of surviving for longer, but hey, I'm still waiting!