Does anyone else hate hosting especially meals?

[Regretsy]

Just looking for kindred spirits to make me feel less of a freak. I can cook perfectly good meals for myself but the moment I invite anyone else along it all goes tits up. The whole thing makes me very anxious. I love going to other people’s for meals so always want to repay the gesture but it’s always awful and people seem to feel uncomfortable and leave early. I think partly it’s my family’s weird behaviour but mostly I wish I could never have to host again. Anyone else feel the same? How do I solve this, move to Alaska? (Where I’d prob invite people round for baked Alaska and it would taste like feet).

Omg THANK YOU amazing people of mumsnet! You’re going to think I’m insane but these messages have really cheered me up, I went to bed crying after yesterday’s fiasco! I would love to get takeaway or big pot think I’ll do that next time, however to the people who asked about the weird behaviour...one of the things they do is demand certain things, for example I had to get a free range chicken from a posh shop and posh wine which I can’t really afford. They also knew I had no wood for the fire so arranged for their friend to drop some off (without telling me) ordinarily a sweet gesture but it’s because they wanted a fire..because I wasn’t planning on it I had no kindling...throughout the night they demanded fire lighters (which I didn’t have), to put my candles in (!) and an axe (which I don’t have!). Now it wasn’t that cold they were just fixated on the fire and made me feel really weird, like if they were that desperate tell me before hand and I would have got some kindling! I also had made Easter cards for them that took ages and I thought were funny and I got ‘lockdown getting to you then’ comments ie being mocked and then they left them behind. They also left pretty much as soon as they’d eaten and just seemed like they didn’t want to be there. I live alone and was looking forward to the company. All little things but they build up and I never want to do it again! I do have friends who are lovely and luckily we tend to not eat together!

Oh, so it was your guests (who are family) who were exhibiting the weird behaviour? I thought you meant it was your DH or children who behaved strangely when there were visitors, that that was what stressed you out!

Yes, I despise it. I can cook quite well, decent simple food, but I don't enjoy it and I have absolutely no idea how to prepare salads, 'fancy' foods, combinations of herbs/spices. I wasn't brought up with it, I don't eat it myself. I can use recipe books, but I stress over whether it tastes as it should. I just like simple food. Everyone else seems to like much fancier things. I just find it really, really stressful.

I've got relatives who want to come and stay after lockdown and food is the main thing I'm panicking about. I get it.

or example I had to get a free range chicken from a posh shop and posh wine which I can’t really afford
Get tae fuck....

They also knew I had no wood for the fire so arranged for their friend to drop some off (without telling me) ordinarily a sweet gesture but it’s because they wanted a fire
Ok, so that wasn't that bad of them.

because I wasn’t planning on it I had no kindling...throughout the night they demanded fire lighters (which I didn’t have), to put my candles in (!) and an axe (which I don’t have!)

Get tae fuck

Now it wasn’t that cold they were just fixated on the fire and made me feel really weird, like if they were that desperate tell me before hand and I would have got some kindling!
Get tae fuck... and get a fucking jumper on!

I also had made Easter cards for them that took ages and I thought were funny and I got ‘lockdown getting to you then’ comments ie being mocked and then they left them behind. They also left pretty much as soon as they’d eaten and just seemed like they didn’t want to be there

So rude. They all need to fuck off. Who are they? Family members?
I'd not be having them coming round for a meal again.
"You're welcome to come at such and such a time but I won't be cooking"
"You're welcome to come round on such a such a day but I won't be lighting the fire so if you're likely to be cold, bring an extra jumper"
Make it clear what you will and won't be doing.

And spend more time with people who behave properly.

They sound rude, especially about the cards! I feel grateful when someone has made me a handmade card it's a really personal touch.

I am not surprised you hated them visiting! Entitled and self-centred, please tell me you wont be inviting them back in a hurry.

Am happy to cook and host on Christmas Day and Easter for family but I have only ever once hosted a dinner party. A complete bloody expensive ordeal!
A night out meeting at a local pub with friends is far more relaxing for everyone involved.

Preparing in advance can be best.
Beef/ chicken or Veg casserole cooked the day before in wine, beer or cider. Baked potatoes. Extra veg from frozen if you want.
Pie made in advance with bought pastry, cream and/ or ice cream. Or pudding made by a local bakery doing take outs. If you have one.
Selection of mint chocolates and coffee.
Always goes down well.

Well, family or not, they wouldn't be darkening my doors ever again!

Thanks everyone, yes I won’t be repeating it in a hurry! The axe thing was so weird am actually finding it funny now

Ah!
Like SecretCiderCellar I thought you meant youhad people come over, and, whilst they were there, the people you live with did some seriously weird things

However

one of the things they do is demand certain things, for example I had to get a free range chicken from a posh shop and posh wine which I can’t really afford.

No. You really didn't. If you are invited to someone's home, you don't get to demand what they make for you. Your answer ought to have been "no, I'm alright thanks already got my menu planned" and "If there is a particular wine you want, then bring it with you". Don't make a rod for your own back.

They also left pretty much as soon as they’d eaten and just seemed like they didn’t want to be there
So, if they don't want to be there, then you know who not to invite next time.