Got involved with someone in October last year. He's abit of a complex guy. 2.5 years single but a little stuck in the past it seems. He's got an ex hanging of him a little. But he seems insistent that's well and truly in the past. He said she hurt him quite alot and sounds like they were fairly toxic together. He had to tell her he was seeing me and she's in that time expressed regrets and asked him if he still fancies her. He always claimed he won't go back there and he tells me he realises now he was never really happy with her and doesn't think they were right for eachother. They took eachother for granted etc.
Despite this he brings her up alot and will contact her sometimes when something happens in his life. It always feels abit odd and like I'm in bed shadow.
Three times since we've started our thing he's gone off in a huge huff with me. All three times have been when he's not himself and he's abit down, quiet or whatever. I always remain kind and say he can talk to me. But I always say are you sure you don't need abit of quiet or A couple of days to think or just enjoy relaxing by himself. Each time he's dumped me and told me I drive him mad with these comments. He accused me of being insecure. Often these mood swings would be along with me asking him about the future. Not in any sort of marriage way but checking my young kids are not off putting. Or once I felt another women was flirting with him allover Facebook and he seemed to be interested in her. So yes that one time I asked him the deal with her. He deleted the women. But then chucked me when I tried to speak about her.
He stopped speaking to me for two and a half weeks. Then he came back with texts asking if I missed him etc. For a few days we were messaging and we're supposed to meet for a talk to see how we felt in eachothers company. I asked to speak on the phone before we met. So he called and sounded off instantly. I said I had only just started getting over him and therefore I want to know what he's looking for going forward. A friendship or a lover. I said we need to make a decision and stop having these spats. He ended up shouting at me and turned everything on me. I told him I was finished with him in a text Tuesday when he said he couldn't trust me anymore. I spoke to a women from his past and she was put through exactly the same as me with him as he wasn't over the ex. Although they had only just seperated when she was involved with him. This women told his ex that I had been in touch and the ex went back to him with her tales.
I have told him that until he's got his ex out his life it won't work out with anyone.
I know exactly how dramary this sounds. But I am trying to understand why he comes and goes. No doubt he will try come back one day and I feel like I won't be sucked in this time. But I still can't make sense of his extreme reactions.
Just need a girly chat. thanks.