@Andrewsgirl
No- he just keeps saying he’s human and that I just expect him to be perfect and I crucify him if he’s ever anything less than perfect. He thinks his behaviour is completely normal and I’m having real problems trying not to doubt myself. This just isn’t right. He says that all relationships are like this because we’re all human and make mistakes.
"He says that all relationships are like this because we’re all human and make mistakes."
No, all relationships are NOT like this. Very few, and they're all totally dysfunctional. And he's not 'making a mistake' - a mistake is something we do once, learn from, and don't repeat. He is doing this again and again and again - and again. He's not treating it as a mistake
at all. So why should you? You shouldn't.
"he just keeps saying he’s human and that I just expect him to be perfect and I crucify him if he’s ever anything less than perfect."
That is classic DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. He is expecting you to be perfect - to take the verbal punch in the face, smile sweetly and ask if he'd like a footrub. He is absolutely trying to gaslight you here. I'd throw that back in his face and tell him to stop expecting me to be the Perfect Stepford Wife.
"I’ve said to him tonight he needs to get help or I want a divorce. I’d rather be on my own that keep going through this every time he’s stressed or upset about something."
And this was exactly the right thing to do. His problems are bigger than you can handle - bigger than anyone can handle, until he gets professional help. That would be the human thing to do - to acknowledge he needs help.
And I'd also keep in mind that even with professional help, he may still be a shit partner you should divorce. His problems are long-standing and deep-seated, and he may not be up for truly dealing with them and just try papering over the cracks.