I am 25 and LC with my father. Most of my fathers imeditate family have passed in 3 months including my beloved but dogmatic grandmother, her loving husband of 35 years and his twin.
I am an only child & grew up in a different country to my dad.
My mum and i are close; so much its almost toxic in a way. She spoilt me because of his absense. My did my paternal grandmother who took my mums side, her husband and my paternal grandfather who really spoilt me. All their sons were bad fathers so the grandchildren got looked after.
My father was always the villain of my life growing up; i would see mum work 3 jobs and he would send letters about his around the world trips despite him not paying maintence. Never got in contact. Would moan about my handwriting in my letters and my grades.
My teen years were hard; as my grandparents got ill, my toxic maternal family of no help. I had a learning disability and my teachers bullied me, i developed an eating disorder and got sexually abused. My mum and i arguing at 17; as one last resort to go and see my father so she could have a break but he said he didnt want anything to do with me. I did something stupid because of all the trauma and estranged after waking up in hospital.
8 years later my grandfather passed leaving me enough money for a prestigious uni, to travel the world and to start a business and i’ve come back to my country and am building a start up with countries government to create jobs. I had therapy for all the trauma and live with mum with helps with the back office happily. However my dad emails a lot espescially after the 3 deaths in 3 months. He has no partner. The last time i saw him was 3 years ago by accident at my grandmothers where he commented how fat i was ( a 5’8 size 12) and when this triggered an eating disorder relapse he emailed back that my mum should have taken the pill.
He sends an email a day and its so triggering. How do you handle this? Even his email ruins my day. He has no partner and life.