Should I give up with sibling?

[Lauren1983]

My brother had a falling out with my mum a couple of years ago. I was never very close to my brother but we saw each other at meets up with my mum and generally got on well. Now due to this falling out and lockdown we have drifted further apart.

If I text my brother I don't get a reply for several days and he will only reply if the text is a direct question which doesn't help.

It was my nieces first birthday last year. I contacted him about sending a present as visiting was banned due to lockdown. He told me he would rather wait until after lockdown and wouldn't give me his new address to even send a card. At Xmas I was told they didn't want any presents for my niece again. Now it is her birthday again and I have been told they are still on a present hiatus and don't want me to send anything.

I am his only sibling and we both have no contact with our father. I am also my nieces only auntie. She has no uncles. My daughter is her only cousin.

I don't know if I should keep trying or not. If I am honest I don't feel wanted. My sil has lots of friends so my niece had lots of 'aunties' so she won't miss out if I do cut ties. I don't think the present hiatus will apply to anyone bar me tbh.

Why would you keep trying if they said they didn't want a card or present during lockdown. They said it clearly.
Why do you want to cut ties? Just leave them be. Text a happy birthday or send an internet card. Is your mother exerting influencing you in relation to you and your brother's relationship?

They said about meeting up after lockdown last April when it wasn't clear how long it would last. I didn't know if that would still be the case a year later.

My mum has no influence on our relationship but the situation has affected it.

If you want to try one last time, reassure him that you will never discuss him or his family with your mother, and you will never disclose his address to her, even by accident.

It is also difficult because they say the reason my mum was cut off was due to not making an effort so I feel I have to keep trying else the same will happen to me

I would stop trying OP, he obviously doesn't see you as a priority. It's sad and it does hurt but sometimes the less you bother with someone the less is bothers you if you see what I mean.

If your attempts at contacting aren't recipricocated then take that as a hint. I wish my sibling would.... I find her suffocating!

My mum does actually know where they live as she visited before the fall out. I also could ask my mums best friend who also has the address and sends them cards but I don't want to ask for it if they don't want me to have it if you see what I mean.

Yes I think maybe I should take the hint. I don't contact them much. Just really to say happy birthday and the very odd text to ask how they are.

I'd carry on sending the very occasional text. I'd try not to worry if you don't get a reply. It is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️. It's sad but there isn't much you can do. I'd definitely stop with the presents and cards.

Why don’t you ask for the address and send them a letter explaining how they are making you feel. Not accusatory, just calmly saying that you want to be an aunty and you feel sad and then leave it there. If they want to get back in touch after that then that is their prerogative. At least you have told them how you feel