He's always done this thing where he'll just snap and start being rude to me out of nowhere. Recently it's gotten much worse. He talks to me as if I'm a naughty child and need to be put in my place if that makes sense? I've become extremely anxious because I never know when he will just be rude out of nowhere, so I'm doing that thing where I'm constantly looking for reassurance that he isn't angry or in a bad mood with me. It's his tone of voice, not necessarily WHAT he says that's the problem.
Last night I was in bed with a cold and couldn't sleep, so I'd wander into the living room every now and then. He ordered food really late and asked me if I wanted anything. I said no thanks.
When it came 2 hours later, he offered me some as he bought two large meals and I said I would have a tiny bit. He kept making comments about "you should have fucking said you wanted food when I asked". I said I didn't actually want a whole meal and I was fine not to have anything, I just thought since he had so much and offered I would have a bit. He insists I eat with him.
So we are chatting and eating and I took a tiny piece of pitta bread from the box. Then all hell broke lose. "you just took it without fucking asking, you knew I'd fucking say no." "Look at how you've ruined the meal, it doesn't look right and the proportions are off". "I fucking asked you and you said you didn't want anything and now you've fucked up my meal".
I cannot stress enough how tiny the piece was. I apologized of course. But the way he was going on about this pitta bread was insane. I thought he was actually joking. I felt myself shrinking. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. I could feel that I was about to cry so I walked away and cried in my room listening to him laughing at the TV. He really laid into me and he keeps doing it. I'm usually the kind of person to stand up for myself, but I feel so small when he shouts at me that I just cry and say nothing and continue talking to him like nothing happened.
I really don't think this is right. If I ever bring up I don't like the way he's speaking to me, it's because I'm "sensitive". Which despite me saying it makes me cry, he never actually sees me doing so.
We usually get on really well, so when he suddenly changes, it's horrible because I can't see it coming. Absolutely everyone thinks he is the nicest guy on the planet and would never ever do such a thing. I'm tired of feeling scared I'm going to get told off and walking on eggshells all of the time. How do you hash it out with someone who absolutely believes they are always 100% in the right?