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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He says woman keeps setting up accounts in his name

56 replies

Newnameforthisquestion · 02/04/2021 19:35

A strange one. Name changed.

I was sent a message saying partner on Plenty of fish telling me to check

I looked couldn't find him but his email came up as an active user! He says a woman is setting up accounts in his name with his email. Why would anyone do that?

Says he is not on plenty of fish and not cheating 🙄
Thoughts
Suggestions

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 03/04/2021 00:02

You hear of people having their photos stolen by “ catfishers” but they wouldn’t be using his email. If POF have his email then he’s be getting emails from them surely? You would imagine a conversation where he says “ that’s odd. I’ve had a weird email from POF” - I bet he didn’t mention this until after you challenged him about the message.

BrilliantBetty · 03/04/2021 07:35

Check if he's signed up to the other popular dating apps

FTEngineerM · 03/04/2021 07:42

I’m surprised you believe him enough to post on MN about it.

That’s clearly the most full of shit excuse I think I’ve ever heard. What an unimaginative fucking arsehole

JerryMoreIceCream · 03/04/2021 07:51

I have to verify my email to watch catch up on ITV etc. She would need access to his email to verify the account surely?

MrsBerthaRochester · 03/04/2021 09:45

Absolute crap! I was sleeping with a guy casually who used to tell everyone he met that people stole his photos and used them on loads of different hook up sites because he is so good looking.
It was his alibi as he had a live in partner!

Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 10:55

@LonginesPrime

How does he say this woman know his email address?

Have you asked him what other accounts he thinks she set up for him? By referring to multiple accounts, it sounds like he's paving the way for you to find him on some other sites too.

Yes I asked. Plenty of fish and he closes them down. He said only on there with his email. The actual account on there has no detail on it though.

He showed me the account and it wasn't fully opened it said 'welcome back' and we need to check your details or something like that as if it was an old account that was no longer useable.

OP posts:
Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 10:56

@MrsBerthaRochester

Absolute crap! I was sleeping with a guy casually who used to tell everyone he met that people stole his photos and used them on loads of different hook up sites because he is so good looking. It was his alibi as he had a live in partner!
This is what I thought but a friend of mine did actually have a stalker whom he said did this a few years ago. I believed him as others did but makes me wonder now if he was a cheat too.
OP posts:
Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 10:58

@Divebar2021

You hear of people having their photos stolen by “ catfishers” but they wouldn’t be using his email. If POF have his email then he’s be getting emails from them surely? You would imagine a conversation where he says “ that’s odd. I’ve had a weird email from POF” - I bet he didn’t mention this until after you challenged him about the message.
He never mentioned it until challenged by me.

He says the woman knows his ex and he chatted to her years ago on plenty of fish. He says he never met her or doesn't have any contact details for her.

I think I have been played. He doesn't seem the type though. I actually thought he was genuine.

OP posts:
Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 11:03

@LonginesPrime

How does he say this woman know his email address?

Have you asked him what other accounts he thinks she set up for him? By referring to multiple accounts, it sounds like he's paving the way for you to find him on some other sites too.

He is a captain for a sports team and the email address is on social media as the contact.

He is claiming that this woman tried to set up an account for him using his email and has done so before. He says he doesn't believe she has hacked his email and the account is not fully open since the details are blank. He says he contacted plenty of fish to shut previous account down.

It's a real shame since I thought he was lovely. I guess I am not a great judge at character if you are all correct though.

OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 03/04/2021 11:04

How does he know who is doing it, though, if they're doing it in his name with his contact details?

ClareBlue · 03/04/2021 11:04

What you say above is slightly different. Are you saying he was on the site years ago and the email was a welcome back email?

FlyingBurrito · 03/04/2021 11:06

@mineofuselessinformation

So if it's not him he won't have any trouble letting you see his email account, will he?
That wouldn't prove anything unless he's the worst cheater out there. Any ncriminating emails would have been deleted and It would tell her nothing
ClareBlue · 03/04/2021 11:06

And that the accounts were never verified?
That is different.

Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 11:08

@ClareBlue

What you say above is slightly different. Are you saying he was on the site years ago and the email was a welcome back email?
That's what he said. He showed me the email. He was on the site years ago as I was. We both closed accounts down. He said that this woman must have tried to reopen his account using his email (which is online as a contact as he is a captain for a sports team) and that the account detail show 'empty' meaning someone tried to reopen account but didn't succeed.

Well thanks for the replies. I guess asking to see email shows I don't trust him but will at least clear things up?

OP posts:
Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 11:10

@ClareBlue

And that the accounts were never verified? That is different.
Yes, this is what he said to me. The accounts were blank and he has already had 2 closed down and will now get this one closed down (although it is empty of details) and appears like a welcome back

I am surprised he didn't just mention it to me before he said he doesn't know why he didn't.

OP posts:
FlyingBurrito · 03/04/2021 11:10

Your recent post casts it in a rather different light if I'm reading it correctly.

So the amount wasn't fully set up, there was an attempt to set one up? That's a bit more plausible.

I don't know why anyone is questioning how the woman knows his email address, that's not top secret information. The issue is how she would know his passwords either POF one or email one

I'd try to get some more information, the way you're explaining things isn't terribly clear

Theunamedcat · 03/04/2021 11:17

My ex sent me a link to his dating profile and said his mate used his pictures to set it up it wasn't him at all i said I dont care we are split up but its a bit 🤮 that your looking for "women" from age 16 to 25 especially as your pushing 40 🙄

A welcome back email suggests he has been on before and is signing in after a long time

updownroundandround · 03/04/2021 11:22

@Newnameforthisquestion

I'm curious about who sent you the message in the first place ?? Hmm

DianaT1969 · 03/04/2021 12:23
  • Why is the woman doing this? What's her motivation? (According to him).
  • If he knows who she is, has he confronted her? Has he shown you who she is on SM?
  • If someone sent you a message, was it a screenshot of him on a current account?
  • Who sent you the message?
Houseofvelour · 03/04/2021 12:36

Bullshit 😂 you have to verify the account through your own emails and I doubt anyone has access to his email account.

He's cheating op or at least looking to. I'm sorry you're with such an idiot. Don't let him make you look like one.

Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 12:45

@FlyingBurrito

Your recent post casts it in a rather different light if I'm reading it correctly.

So the amount wasn't fully set up, there was an attempt to set one up? That's a bit more plausible.

I don't know why anyone is questioning how the woman knows his email address, that's not top secret information. The issue is how she would know his passwords either POF one or email one

I'd try to get some more information, the way you're explaining things isn't terribly clear

Sorry I haven't been clearer.

The knowing email address isn't a problem since not difficult to find out.

I agree I need to get more information.

OP posts:
Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 12:48

The message was sent to me on social media and a screenshot. The social media account appeared to have been set up just to message me (or others I don't know) it doesn't have pictures apart from cat and dog pictures. I read the message and the user could see I had read and then blocked me! It's a bit odd and very childish.

OP posts:
Newnameforthisquestion · 03/04/2021 12:51

[quote updownroundandround]@Newnameforthisquestion

I'm curious about who sent you the message in the first place ?? Hmm[/quote]
So am I

I have temporarily deactivated my social media so further messages cannot be sent - she blocked me after I had read the message (I think). I don't use social media much but there was a message from an unknown person to me I read it. I imagined it showed her I read it and then I searched her and appears I'm blocked from seeing her. Does that make sense at all? I cannot see her profile. There was a cat and dog picture.

It feels like someone is out to cause trouble and the best solution is a proper chat when I next see him.

Thanks for replies

OP posts:
Wanderlusto · 03/04/2021 12:55

Very odd, could be an ex of his that doesn't want him knowing she is warning you of course.

If the profiles definately were not verified then I'd maybe give him the benefit of the doubt this once but be on my guard moving forwards.

It could be that he doesnt verify so that he can use the excuse that the crazy ex set him up. Maybe he can still message ppl without verifying. He could just send 'hey, I dont use this much but heres a link to my fb, that's me, want to instant message sometime?' or similar and that would be that.

Imjustsootired · 03/04/2021 13:30

Even if he is telling the truth my question would be why?

Sounds like the behaviour of a spurned girlfriend trying to cause trouble in a marriage to me..