How does your partner look at you?

[Mikethenight2good]

Morning,

Just that really, when you walk in a room, how does he look at you?

Maybe a year of working from home for the both of us, but if I ever walk into a room and disturb him I get the look of being a inconvenience. Or the other is he doesn't look up from his phone..

I also don't fancy him. That's not helping maybe. ...

I think your last comment - that you don't fancy him...is at the heart of your marriage and will shape and contort everything about how you interact.
It's beyond cruel to expect attention from a partner that you are not drawn to. If you don't both address this it will be corrosive.

Mine blows a kiss at me even when we're sat in the same room, if I look over at him, he looks up and blows me a kiss

Redpanda
An ex partner used to do exactly as yours does. I would be eating or doing something very ordinary and notice he was glaring at me. At stating "what?" he would say "nothing" and continue to glare at me. He was smitten with me, I knew it and felt it. Circumstances and me wanting more (he did not drive, had less ambition than me, had issues) meant I ended things. I was shallow when in my 20's. My dh has never looked at me with the same love - at least not that I have noticed, he has also gone on to betray me. I greatly underestimated the importance of being looked at across a room as if nobody else matters or exists.

Funnily I am now friends with this ex and he feels the same way about me. I saw it and felt it just as if it were 20 years ago.

Oh well

Not wildly excited or wildly grumpy tbh. Just middling. But we still find plenty to laugh about which is not bad considering we've both been working from home for almost 13 months...

I don’t mind if he doesn’t look up, if he’s playing game or reading etc. I am always in and out of different rooms in the house so he’d be constantly having to say hi! If I’ve been out he will always be happy to see me. He might look at me neutrally or with love or happiness depending on his mood but never like I’m an inconvenience, that sounds horrible!

Have to agree with @Seadad. I think if you don’t fancy him then he will on some level sense that. Cold feelings breed cold behaviour.

@Somuddled

He usually beams and calls out the ridiculous nickname that I have. Or is so engrossed in his phone that I have to announce that I'm there and then he beams and uses the nickname.

Are you going to share the nickname Pretty please😃

@LubaLuca

Expectantly, usually, hoping I've brought him a cup of tea or good news I think. I love him for his optimism.

@LubaLuca Is he a dog person? 😁

@Fountainsoftea

Adoringly.

I am the sun around which his planet revolves.

@Fountainsoftea That's sweet. How long have you been together? Did it ever get too much? Cloying? I assume not. Just curious!

Big smiles

Some people compartmentalise life a lot, when they’re working they are head down and they aren’t going to respond to personal interactions.

However if he’s also like this in non work time that’s not good. Time for a conversation? What can you do to change it.

Your side flirtation should not be confused with a long term relationship.

Sometimes he ignores me.
Sometimes he smoulders!

No fixed look but many moments of squishy loveliness still after 16 years.