Hidden meaning?

[Linger123345]

Good morning all!

I'm seeking some advice, as the bloke im seeing has made a few comments whicu have stuck to my mind.

So, we have been seeing each other fo4 just over 2 months, but have not defined it, or had the exclusive talk. (Its still early days)
I do like to think that the exclusivity is there, as we talk every night on the phone if we are not together.

It all started as going over for movie night. Friday is, shall we say our official date night which consisists of movies at the moment. This will change to actual dates when places start opening.

Recently, he keeps talking about "booking my ticket for my spot on the sofa"
Which was sounding like a normal joke at first, but hes said it several times now.
This is all in person by the way.
And the other day, he even went as far as saying "let me check to make sure no one else is booked in" just after he asked if i wanted to "book Saturday in too"

I think i responded with a jokey "okay"
And then he went on to say "im checking the bookings now for that side of the sofa"

I then responded jokily with a "hey, thats not very nice"
He then smiled massively and hugged me.

This could all just be a joke, but as hes said it a few times - and being a woman - i cant help but wonder if theres a slightly deeper meaning to this?
Could this be him trying to show me its casual, or could he be trying to get a reaction out of me?

Its silly, i know. But its stuck to mind!

It's likely a joke that's carried on for longer than it should - some people aren't great at recognising when something stops being funny.

I've done it, I've had it done to me - I'd mention it's becoming tiresome now and his reaction will tell you more than anything else, probably a good time to mention exclusivity, I was dating someone for a while and I thought it was exclusive but was told "we hadn't had that talk" (mainly because I didn't think it needed it given the amount of times we'd been out, stayed over etc.) But I was 1 of 3 fellas so, always good to find out :)

Sorry to hear that!!!
I hope you moved on and found someone deserving or your attention!!
And I will be bringing up the exclusitivity talk soon - possibly at 3 months as it gives me time to make sure I want this too!

Perhaps actually have the exclusive talk instead of presuming.

Hmm I think by now i’d have just come out and said - why don you have other women you are booking in?

I did indeed, they amaze me daily and I've become a better person since I met them - although, this is the first time I've ever had a flood of "this is the one" come over me, it's rather refreshing.

Have a think about the motivation for your post and whether it was self preservation or if it was because you genuinely like him, that'll probably give you a good idea of whether you want it or not :)

If you want to be exclusive or only have exclusive relationships, tell him so and make sure you’re both on the same page, at least to establish that neither of you is actively looking for anyone else right now. Don’t assume that because you talk on the phone every day that this is any indication of anything.

I’d assume his comments are a humorous way of saying the opposite, that there is nobody else to “book in” - like during lockdown when my friend asked if I wanted to meet up and I said I’d get back to her after I’d checked my busy social calendar to make sure I didn’t have a party to go to. Possibly it’s his way of trying to establish whether you’re seeing anyone else. But overall, it just means the two of you are dancing around when you really just need to be transparent and state what you want.

I've never had an 'exclusivity' talk. I just always assumed if you're seeing someone and there's a connection there, then you don't see anyone else.
If I was seeing someone and found out he was also seeing someone else because we hadn't had an 'exclusivity talk', he'd be straight in the bin.
Think I need to bear this in mind then!

It's just a joke. He finds it funny. Just laugh it off, play along or tell him it's getting on your nerves.

Just reply with something along the lines off "yes I'd better check my other bookings to make sure I haven't double booked myself"

@Swordfish1

I've never had an 'exclusivity' talk. I just always assumed if you're seeing someone and there's a connection there, then you don't see anyone else. If I was seeing someone and found out he was also seeing someone else because we hadn't had an 'exclusivity talk', he'd be straight in the bin. Think I need to bear this in mind then!

Not everyone wants an exclusive relationship. I don’t, which is why I make sure to be very clear upfront that I don’t, and that if somebody I’m dating is looking for exclusivity then we’d better wish each other well and depart.

Not everyone is that transparent though, which is why if you know it’s something you want you have to communicate about it. It’s like assuming that somebody you’re dating wants marriage and children just because “most people do”. Some people don’t, so if it’s important to you, you talk about it early on.

It’s very hard to tell w/o knowing what kinds of person he is. Also sounds like something I might say myself if nervous!

As an aside 2 months is long enough to assume exclusivity - go ahead and have the talk if you feel like it’s needed. Dating around is for casual dating / no more than a few dates IMO ... anything longer than that is playing the field and just rude if both parties are looking for a relationship

It sounds to me as if it’s a joke. Maybe he is shy and trying to prompt you into having the exclusive talk.

Just talk to him about it.

Maybe he's hoping he's your first choice that's why he's saying it, he might pick up you not wanting to rush exclusivity but dropping hints he still feels like an option?