what's the best way to act in this scenario?

[cockcrisps]

I have had an on-again and off-again relationship with a man that has bordered on FWB at times and more like a relationship at other times. It has been going on 3 years. We spoke a lot during lockdown (daily) and met up again for the first time yesterday. While making plans to do this he said that he was desperate to sleep with me. I said I would like to sleep with him too but that I was really looking for a relationship now, something serious and that I did not want to just meet up to have sex, I wanted to spend time together. We had also told each other we loved each other over lockdown, which was the first time we had done this (instigated by him.)

We met up yesterday, it was great to see him, we chatted, caught up and had sex. About 10mins after sex while we were lying there he said "right I've got to start think about heading off."

I said "hold on, I told you what I wanted and you assured me this is not what you would be doing."

He said, "did you?"

I said "Yes."

He said "I'd forgotten then."

I said "there's no way you could have forgotten."

He said "well maybe I was lying then," and he started to laugh.

Obviously he is a complete and utter dickhead, but I don't know how to react to this. I have felt really upset. Given our exchanges over the last few weeks and the fact I made it so clear what I wanted and even pre-empted what might happen and he assured me that it wouldn't.

I feel broken by it and i don't know why. My self esteem is rock bottom.

Today he is pretending that everything is normal. I am avoiding him, I don't know why. I have to see him socially in the next few days, I don't now how to act? Or if to say something? Or tell him what I think of him?

I feel like my head is not screwed on anymore

Socially

You want to send a diatribe so you get a response from him. It’ll only prolong the hurt.
As pp said going no contact is very powerful.

He’s a twat pure and simple

I think you’re looking at this wrong to let it affect your self-esteem. Just remind yourself of how utterly pathetic it is to trick someone into sex. To be so low, so bad at relating to others you have to use subterfuge to get them into bed. To have such a lack of integrity you could sleep with someone who is supposed to be a friend under false pretences. It takes a special kind of pathetic loser to do this.

He’s not worth anymore of your headspace, unless it’s fleeting pity for someone who has such a poor self-regard they have to sink to duping women. Hold your head up if you see him because you’ve got fuck all to be ashamed of. You were honest, upfront and put your feelings out there. He couldn’t match it - that’s his shit to deal with so don’t carry his shame for him.

He duped you into sleeping with him after falsely agreeing to your conditions.
When he got what he wanted he tried to gaslight you about ever having the conversation and then tried to laugh it off as having "forgotten" about it.

Cut your losses and go no contact with this mind fucker.

I'd block his number and have no more contact. He's an utter waste of time.

If you have to see him socially I'd be politely distant. If he manages to make any comment about meeting up again I'd laugh in his face and say with mild amusement Oh no - you blew that one. And then turn away/change the subject.

If he tries to pursue you block him.

Blimey thats the lowest of the low.. what a complete bellend. Yuk. Made my skin crawl.

Make no mistake he will be back when he wants more of the same, please dont fall for it OP.

Block this c u next Tuesday pronto! And thank god he's shown u the light