Is this a normal reaction?

[NormalOrWeird]

I ended my relationship and DP moved out at the weekend after I found out he had been sexting other women online. We'd only been together about 18 months, moved in together at the start of lockdown so it moved fairly fast and was quite intense. I did (do) love him, I hoped we had a real future and in many ways we were really well-suited with lots in common, but honesty / infidelity are my red lines (which he knew) so as soon as I found out, I knew it was over.

I have no doubts I've done the right thing. I miss him, obviously, and I'm really sad it didn't work out, but I'm not having any second thoughts or reconsidering taking him back. I haven't had any contact with him since first thing Monday morning when he messaged and I replied reiterating I wouldn't be lied to and he knew that, and I don't need to and am not planning to have any further contact. He seems to accept this and hasn't made contact since then.

Physically though, I'm an absolute mess. I haven't been able to keep any food down for over 48 hours, I keep shaking and feeling nauseous/dizzy, I can't sleep. I do have the odd wave of real sadness/'I miss him' which I expected, but generally it feels like there's a disconnect between my mind and my body. I've never experienced anything like this at the end of a relationship before. Is this a normal reaction and why am I feeling so terrible physically?

Start of first lockdown, that should say - so we'd been living together for 12 months.

Could it just be a bug?

I think it can be a stress/shock reaction. Be kind to yourself

Maybe it seems worse this time because of Lock Down and you can't meet up with friends and family to get some support?

I think it sounds like a stress / panic reaction. I'm sure it will get easier, but speak to your doctor if it carries on.

Stress and shock. Treat yourself like you are ill as it's a physical reaction. Rest, sip fluids and try and eat when you can. Be kind to yourself.

@dancemom

Stress and shock. Treat yourself like you are ill as it's a physical reaction. Rest, sip fluids and try and eat when you can. Be kind to yourself.

This.

Not necessarily linked with ending relationships but I have very strong physical reactions to extreme stress or upset in my life which sounds similar to what you're experiencing. At times I've literally had to take to my bed (or at least the sofa) and treat it as though I was physically ill, lots of rest (sleep helps more than anything for me), fluids and then easy food for a few days til my appetite comes back. It's crap but doesn't usually last long and I tend to put it down to adrenaline more than anything, it does make me feel really ill though so can totally sympathise, hope you feel better soon OP

I imagine it's shock OP. It plays a huge part in feeling like this and not keeping food down.

Have you spoken to any friends or family? Is there anyone who can comfort you? If it was me, I'd be eating junk food, watching crappy films of Netflix and listening to power/mood lifting music.
What a shitty situation and I feel for you. But look! You are strong, you know you're worth, you will look back at this and think "thank goodness I wasn't with him any longer". The main thing is time is a healer. Be kind to yourself x

Thanks all. Stress/shock makes sense. My worry now (apart from how long feeling so crap physically is going to last) is when the physical shock wears off, I'll feel worse emotionally if that makes sense. But I guess it's a process and I just have to get through it.

It is a process definitely.
Nothing really makes it better except time so you just have to try and distract yourself and do stuff. Make plans, go running etc