Daughters dad blocked me

[sophie2501]

So me and my babies dad live together, we had a big argument where both families become involved, I haven't seen or heard from him since it happened and that was 5 days ago, he hasn't taken any clothes he literally walked out the door with nothing, I don't know what to do I don't want our relationship to be over I feel so low right now

You already have a tiny baby you don’t need a man sized one. If he can’t act like an adult and a father, he’s no use to you.

Raise your standards!

You say you don't want the relationship to be over - which suggests you'd rather put up with this kind of toxic shit than actually pull yourself together and decide you and your child are worth more than this dickhead.

Don't let him walk back in. Pack his stuff, put it in binliners and text his Mum to ask where she'd like it leaving. He's gone, and it's marvellous when the rubbish takes itself out.

Don’t raise your baby around this man. I know it’s hard and you probably don’t want to hear it, but it won’t get better. What if your baby was sick? You can’t contact your DP because he’s blocked you. Block him back and if you know where he is, pack his things and take them there.

@goodenoughmum88

This sounds unhealthy. The blocking is a form of punishment. I wonder if when he returns he’ll end up making you feel like it was all your fault, and you’ll be the one apologising, capitulating, and then avoiding arguments in the future by tiptoeing around him? Be careful x

This all over.

I'd go as far as suggesting this is emotional abuse, especially for him to do this and leave you alone with a 4 month old.

Op, I know you're a new mum and you may not be up to it right but I would strongly urge you to consider whether you want to continue with this relationship.

I'm really sorry you're going through this

This man is abusive. Abandoning his daughter because he's angry with you is toxic, un adult behaviour, the sign of someone unable to put his child's needs before his own.

This is a spectacularly awful parenting fail.

This is how my ex behaved with me....even when we didnt have a row he would have accused me of saying something i hadn't just as an excuse to have a sulk and flounce of for a few days....
He hasn't just walked out on you..he has walked out on your baby...like pp says what if there was an emergency...
He is doing this because he thinks you need him..you have his baby so you are tied to him and he thinks you will put up with anything he does..it is control...he is a dick..get rid..i did...my life is so peaceful now not having to deal with an adult brat..

Where is he? With his family?

Sorry but it’s totally unacceptable. He’s being very childish by blocking and has been enabled by his family

It would be over for me, I would pack all his things, dump them at his parents, sort out cms payments and start living without him

I expect he's come home.

The discussion really does have to move on from 'binbags, dump it, sort out cms.' We need a collective voice. This is the time and the moment. Women have been walked out on, left holding the baby for years and years. It's a phrase: 'left holding the baby.'

This should be a criminal offence. It is neglect. Of a most serious kind.

OPs partner has committed two criminal offences: domestic abuse and neglect.

Yet she doesn’t want the relationship to end 🤷‍♀️

Of course she doesn't!

She's stuck with the kid though. Even if she loves it, what is she supposed to do? Wait for the fucker to come back? She could leave the kid outside a police station in a box I suppose..then there will be the police appeals for a mother blah blah.

He’s having a little break from the baby plus punishing you for daring to disagree with him. As sure as eggs is eggs, he’ll waltz back when he’s ready. If you take him back, you’re a mug.

When men fuck off, women should fuck off too.

BustyDusty WTAF!

If women abandoned children as quickly as some do, it would be a catastrophic.

The only baby the OP needs to be ditching, is her man baby.

Why do posters think the OP’s partner is the toxic, abusive one for blocking her? Maybe it’s the OP’s behaviour behaviour that’s toxic and abusive, and he’s had enough of it, hence the blocking. Can’t tell with the very limited info provided but if someone has had such a massive fight with their partner and involved all and sundry in the family and as a result one partner has left, the other still wants to be in the relationship... weird and unhealthy. What was the argument about and why did so many others get involved and if it was that bad why does OP want to stay in the relationship?

we had a big argument where both families become involved,
I'd bet anything there was physical violence involved

@DropBearThere

Why do posters think the OP’s partner is the toxic, abusive one for blocking her? Maybe it’s the OP’s behaviour behaviour that’s toxic and abusive, and he’s had enough of it, hence the blocking. Can’t tell with the very limited info provided but if someone has had such a massive fight with their partner and involved all and sundry in the family and as a result one partner has left, the other still wants to be in the relationship... weird and unhealthy. What was the argument about and why did so many others get involved and if it was that bad why does OP want to stay in the relationship?

It's more likely to be both of them being toxic tbh. I agree we shouldn't necessarily be making the assumption that it's just him in this case.

Why don´t you want this relationship to end? What´s in it for you? Fighting, resentment, silent treatment, doing eff all for his kid, family feuds? It will only get worse. Sorry but, this is unhealthy, for you and your child.

Hope you're okay OP, and even if you don't want to reply to this thread anymore, that you're still reading.
The one thing you should be aware of and keep in mind is that if your stay with him, your daughter will use your relationship as a model for her future relationships. She will think that massive arguments, abandonment and withdrawal of affection are things to do in a relationship.
You might not feel very strong right now, you might love him and make excises for him, you might blame yourself. But you are strong for her, I bet. You want the best for her.
This thought is what finally pushed me to leave my DH. It was really hard, but it is do-able.

Silent treatment.

Good grief the shit some people put up with

Poor you op .

Do not take him back. Your daughter doesn’t need her parents to be together. She needs stability. A stable home with just you is much better than a home with both parents, big arguments and people fucking off at random.

You can do it.

How are you sophie?