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Original poster

Where did the people on Guardian Soulmates go?

23 replies

anchovytoast · 30/03/2021 18:47

I'm back considering online dating after a long break. The only site I could ever find in the past that really suited me was Guardian Soulmates, and now that has gone I don't really know where to turn (I'm a straight man, aged 50, by the way).

I've had a look at the 'swipe' type sites (eg Bumble) but it just feels a bit superficial, and doesn't really encourage people to give a sense of what they are really like. I know Soulmates wasn't for everybody, but it did seem to appeal to lots of people who were the kind of people I was more likely to bond with (I should try more to think outside my bubble, I realise), and it just felt generally kind and civilised and fun.

Does anybody know if there is an obvious place for a former GSM-user to migrate to nowadays?

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 30/03/2021 19:35

No advice but following

IrenetheQuaint · 30/03/2021 20:51

As a female former GSM-user I have no idea. Wish I did!

B1rdflyinghigh · 30/03/2021 21:52

I'm single! Grin 48, South Yorks
Couldn't resist!

toucancancan · 30/03/2021 22:14

Following out of interest too...

HotPenguin · 30/03/2021 22:21

Looks like you might find some takers on MN!

muffindays · 30/03/2021 22:24

I've recently gone on OK Cupid and it gives quite nice profiles with interesting info and facts about people. Although it's early days so I am still not entirely sure about it!

carlycornwall · 30/03/2021 22:25

It's a shame if that's gone. I always thought I'd look on there if I were single. The idea of swiping on anyone fills me with horror.

There's clearly a gap in the market for a "decent people" kind of dating experience 🤔

Milomonster · 30/03/2021 22:47

I’m gutted it’s gone too. We should contact them and ask them to revive it. I guess the subscription service was no longer economical in the face of Tinder and Bumble but I think there is a need for GSM-quality sites.

Margaretscratcher · 30/03/2021 23:06

I’ve often wondered this! There’s a definite gap in the market for GSM style dating ie not swiping

Aalvarino · 30/03/2021 23:10

Also following with interest. I want to know where that crowd has migrated to. I know so many people who met long term partners on there.

EiffelPower · 30/03/2021 23:14

I miss GSM too. It would be nice to find something similar. Though with slightly less earnest blokes! I thought bumble would be a good replacement, but no.

NoCureForLove · 30/03/2021 23:19

London Review of Books

justmeand2DC · 30/03/2021 23:36

I would second the recommendation for OK Cupid. I'm not looking any more after meeting a lovely man 3 years ago (on OK Cupid!) but started my foray into OLD on GSM and did meet several like-minded people there, one of whom I dated for a few months.

A friend recommended OKC and when I joined I recognised several profiles from GSM so there was a fair bit of overlap. You have to be a bit more thick-skinned than on GSM and avoid any of the profiling questions that you're not comfortable with, but if you answer enough questions on areas that are important to you then I think the algorithm does a great job of matching you. I found that anybody with a match of greater than 90% was sufficiently compatible for an enjoyable date even if it didn't lead to anything longterm. I might not have swiped right on my partner if I'd seen him on Tinder and filtering profiles according to similar hobbies, education etc probably would have excluded him but OKC gave us a 99% match and it seems pretty accurate so far.

Sakurami · 31/03/2021 06:08

Can't answer your question but I was on the normal tinder etc but was very clear in what I wanted and very choosy. Met some really nice men there, including my boyfriend who I think is the most perfect person I've ever been with.

So was very choosy and then when messaging and talking and getting to know them it was more about would I like them as a person/friend and then when meeting or dating to see if something developed.

Username0981237645 · 31/03/2021 07:24

What about e-harmony? I went on there in my single days and at least a bit of thought went into the profiles.

whereiwanttobe · 31/03/2021 07:31

Another one here saying OK Cupid. I met a couple of people through GSM who were nice, but not 'the one'. I then moved to OK Cupid and answered about 100 questions, and after a few false starts I met my now husband.

I think it's important to answer lots of questions though, as the algorithm matched us really well, despite us being quite different people on the surface.

HeronLanyon · 31/03/2021 07:35

Good question. I’ve two friends who met spouses via GSM - the thought of them OLD with current sites is kind of bewildering - just can’t imagine.

HeronLanyon · 31/03/2021 07:37

Well can imagine as quite a few saying OK Cupid (never heard of and not in market for OLD so won’t ‘check it out’ - seen too many MN threads where that innocent browse could go very very wrong) Grin

cheezy · 31/03/2021 07:39

Another one following! I like the concept of Bumble but you can’t tell much from people. Soulmates was at times a little wordy, I’d like something in between.

hollieberrie · 31/03/2021 07:40

Hinge? I find it much better than Bumble

betrayedandwobbly · 31/03/2021 07:41

Anyone tried Classic FM dating? But it appears that be same as The Telegraph dating, so perhaps not an automatic match for Guardian readers, but perhaps more courteous?

ThatsAllFolks · 31/03/2021 10:57

I think that some of the smaller sites pool up. I was on Telegraph dating due to the demise of GSM and met a chap from Classic Romance

AleksandraPavlova · 16/10/2024 18:45

anchovytoast · 30/03/2021 18:47

I'm back considering online dating after a long break. The only site I could ever find in the past that really suited me was Guardian Soulmates, and now that has gone I don't really know where to turn (I'm a straight man, aged 50, by the way).

I've had a look at the 'swipe' type sites (eg Bumble) but it just feels a bit superficial, and doesn't really encourage people to give a sense of what they are really like. I know Soulmates wasn't for everybody, but it did seem to appeal to lots of people who were the kind of people I was more likely to bond with (I should try more to think outside my bubble, I realise), and it just felt generally kind and civilised and fun.

Does anybody know if there is an obvious place for a former GSM-user to migrate to nowadays?

If you’re open to alternatives, you might consider exploring options that focus on deeper compatibility rather than just profiles. Services that offer personalised matchmaking can be more aligned with your values, ensuring that your interactions are meaningful and tailored to what you’re looking for.

Exploring a professional matchmaking service might provide the kind of thoughtful engagement you miss. They take into account personal preferences and compatibility factors beyond just appearances or immediate interests.

Wishing you the best in your search for a meaningful connection.

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