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Original poster

He's lost his job and says he doesn't work to work.

77 replies

evelynina · 30/03/2021 16:36

My OH has been working contracting for 2 years he made 6 figures. He got let go for trading on the stock market without informing his work. We were planning on upsizing our home OH now says he doesn't want to work for a while he wants to trade on the stock market. He has already bought 25k of shares. He doesn't know anything about trading just taking his friends advice who all still live with their parents. We have 1 DD who is nearly 8. I work full time and can pay the bills. I'm absolutely fuming with him he had a good career and seems to have thrown it down the drain for high risk stocks.

OP posts:
perfectstorm · 30/03/2021 20:02

He wants to take up gambling for a living, funded by your job? And you have a young child?

And the gambling is on stocks and shares, when the world has literally no idea what the economy is about to do in the aftermath of a global pandemic?

And he's got no clue at all about investments, having previously worked only in IT? So has no access to any of the tools brokers use, anyway?

Has he had a recent knock to the head or something?

WallaceinAnderland · 30/03/2021 20:04

OP is your money in an account in your sole name? This is going to get very bad very fast.

Original poster
evelynina · 30/03/2021 20:06

@WallaceinAnderland

OP is your money in an account in your sole name? This is going to get very bad very fast.
I have a fund in my accounts around 10k in my sole name. So I'm ok in that sense and I'm working as a HCP so my work is very stable.
OP posts:
Morechocmorechoc · 30/03/2021 20:06

Well trading is excellent at the moment as lots of companies are undervalued. You can easily make a living, BUT....you can't do it with 25k. Because of the undervalue you need safe shares and the risk is currently low, however you need to know something. Either way, he cant make anything with such a small investment, so I would suggest back to work!

WallaceinAnderland · 30/03/2021 20:07

What about your house, is it owned or rented?

Original poster
evelynina · 30/03/2021 20:09

The house is owned but very small mortgage I can easily afford it on my own even if he lost everything but that's not the point. We had a plan and he's decided to do crazy things because he knows I can keep things ticking over.

OP posts:
diwrnachoflleyn · 30/03/2021 20:09

At the very least, you need to separate your finances entirely. Again, are you married? Who owns the house?

This should be a dealbreaker, that one person decides without consulting the other that they're going to jack in work when there's a child to support and expects to be funded to bloody gamble.

yetmorecrap · 30/03/2021 20:10

He sounds a bit of a chancer OP, an intelligent one but a chancer nonetheless. I lived with someone like this, we either had plenty of money at times or none at all— I can assure you it’s a not very nice rollercoaster— basically he wanted to earn good money for an hours work a day— don’t we all!!! I ditched him after 3 years— personally I prefer a bloke with a good work ethic- even if they don’t much like their job and doesn’t want to rely on betting !!

Morechocmorechoc · 30/03/2021 20:10

When I wrote my post I hadn't read he put it all in gamestop. That's high risk!!!

diwrnachoflleyn · 30/03/2021 20:12

@evelynina

The house is owned but very small mortgage I can easily afford it on my own even if he lost everything but that's not the point. We had a plan and he's decided to do crazy things because he knows I can keep things ticking over.
No, he can only do that if you stand for it. The fuck I would! This is gambling and as someone pointed out, it can get bad very fast. He stakes his share in something and you may very well find yourself in very hot water financially.
WallaceinAnderland · 30/03/2021 20:12

@evelynina

The house is owned but very small mortgage I can easily afford it on my own even if he lost everything but that's not the point. We had a plan and he's decided to do crazy things because he knows I can keep things ticking over.
What if you were to separate?
Original poster
evelynina · 30/03/2021 20:22

Mortgage is £400 I earn around £2500 net pay so yes I can afford the house .

OP posts:
BlackMarauder · 30/03/2021 20:27

@evelynina

Mortgage is £400 I earn around £2500 net pay so yes I can afford the house .
He made his choices without consulting you. Do you intend to let him sit at home gambling or will you chuck him out?
YerWanIsGettinNotions · 30/03/2021 20:29

@edwinbear

www.theguardian.com/business/2021/mar/29/credit-suisse-nomura-archegos-sell-off-hedge-fund

Send him this as well OP.

Definitely this!

The Archegos catastrophe just shows that you can have a full trading floor of highly- educated experienced people (who should know what prime brokerage is and how to manage their exposure to it) and still get painfully caught out by unexpected behaviour from another player affecting the market, potentially at a time of day your own market has closed to trades.

This isn't something to bet the house on. Literally.

If he’s daft enough to do that, he’s too daft to stay with...

diwrnachoflleyn · 30/03/2021 20:33

@evelynina

Mortgage is £400 I earn around £2500 net pay so yes I can afford the house .
Doesn't matter if he gambles his share in it. What about if he gambles what's in your joint account? Why on Earth should he be allowed to skive out of work to gamble? Fuck that. He may have just thrown away £25k. What are you going to do when he needs more money? When he tells you he needs money for clothes, haircut, hanging out with this friend, his car, etc.?
GroovyPeanut · 30/03/2021 20:40

@evelynina

The house is owned but very small mortgage I can easily afford it on my own even if he lost everything but that's not the point. We had a plan and he's decided to do crazy things because he knows I can keep things ticking over.
The only way you're going to keep things ticking over is by carrying the whole responsibility for your mortgage and household finances. If you do this, he'll soon up the ante on his gambling stakes. You need to make sure he doesn't re-mortgage your home! If your DD wants to go onto Uni you're going to have to fund that too. He's being an absolute fool. Don't encourage him in his foolishness! Tell him he can fund his gambling lifestyle elsewhere. He'll soon get his act together if his security is threatened. Having you going out and keeping him isn't fair. I think you need to get tough.
SofiaMichelle · 30/03/2021 20:43

He's got virtually no chance of making a profit, never mind making a living from it.

Have a look at adverts for trading platforms - I'd look at the Trading 212, IG, etc, types that these 'traders' use, because he's not going to be running Bloomberg Terminal with $20k/yr fees.

What you'll see is that around 80% of retail gamblers traders lose their money - the platform providers have to disclose this.

It does not bode well, OP.

WallaceinAnderland · 30/03/2021 20:47

I'm guessing he has similar savings as OP or more so he will live off that until it's gone.

Do you have a joint account OP as well as individual ones?

DianaT1969 · 30/03/2021 20:50

It all depends on if you are married and who owns the house.
He could take on a lot of debt and damage your credit score.

DianaT1969 · 30/03/2021 20:50

Do you want to pay all the bills and mortgage yourself? Will he do the housework and childcare?

QuestionEverythingOrBeASheep · 30/03/2021 20:52

@evelynina

My OH has been working contracting for 2 years he made 6 figures. He got let go for trading on the stock market without informing his work. We were planning on upsizing our home OH now says he doesn't want to work for a while he wants to trade on the stock market. He has already bought 25k of shares. He doesn't know anything about trading just taking his friends advice who all still live with their parents. We have 1 DD who is nearly 8. I work full time and can pay the bills. I'm absolutely fuming with him he had a good career and seems to have thrown it down the drain for high risk stocks.
You didn't say if he was successful or not with his trading? I imagine if he earned 6 figures he has money put by right, after all, he had no hesitation spending 25k of his money. Why have you not discussed this with him rather than here? He has worked hard for the past 2 years and he has had practice in trading for the last however many years.... he must be pretty confident. He may just have the knack, some do. How do you know 'ALL' his friends live with their parents, they may be trading too (and saving), it's very hard to judge.

How long have you been together, do you have a problem with communicating, if not just sit down and share your fears and see how he reacts. Ask him those important questions about what happened with the trading he's done. The world is a very different place now. I'm not so sure ANY job is secure.

diwrnachoflleyn · 30/03/2021 21:06

@DianaT1969

Do you want to pay all the bills and mortgage yourself? Will he do the housework and childcare?
Then he becomes the primary caregiver and she could wind up having to pay maintenance in a split and not be the resident parent for the child, all to indulge his gambling and get rich quick scheme.
BlackMarauder · 30/03/2021 21:14

@DianaT1969 We know this dude won't be helping out with the housework or childcare while he gambles with @evelynina future.

category12 · 30/03/2021 21:47

Are you married, OP?

Is he intending that you support him while he experiments with the stock market?