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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex is still texting me to make him feel better

24 replies

Alicew00 · 30/03/2021 01:13

I split up with my ex because he would make the most stupid excuses not to get up and get a job. He made me miserable and sometimes left me to cry, giving me the silent treatment. He would sit around using my wifi to download films everyday for him and his mate who also just sits at home doing nothing, betting and smoking. He also never said sorry when he accidently trapped my daughters hand in a door or taking a pillow from behind her making her fall back. He'd call me thick and say I owed him money in our last argument and that he'd sleep with his exgf before me if he had to if he was lonely.
Anyway after a few days he said he didn't mean any of it and that he feels mean. He said he wants me back but I said no, I'll talk for a bit as friends but that's it. And so we've been texting everyday just asking how our day was and what we've been upto etc. But he brings up that he feels sad and has been keeping busy to keep his mind off us but is glad we're talking. Is he using me til he finds someone else? Or waiting til we get back together? Which will never happen.

OP posts:
seensome · 30/03/2021 01:30

He's trying to worm his way back in, don't be a friend to him, you don't owe him any kindness after his treatment towards you and your daughter. He's a lazy, abusive cocklodger, keep him out your life, he won't change.

Mintjulia · 30/03/2021 01:37

He's trying to get his free bed and board back. He's not worth the bother. Block him, and go and enjoy the sunshine with your daughter.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/03/2021 01:43

Ffs, why haven't you blocked him? You enjoy this childish bullshit?

WisnaeMe · 30/03/2021 01:54

Cocklodger 🙄

YukoandHiro · 30/03/2021 02:00

He sounds horrific. You did the right thing to end it. Hold on to your standards and move on fast.

Yankeescot · 30/03/2021 02:46

This arsehole abused your baby Daughter and you're speaking to him, why???

Wiredforsound · 30/03/2021 06:14

He missed his warm bed and free wifi. Has he got a job yet? Bet he hasn’t. He’s an abusive arsehole who’s upset because he’s just lost his meal ticket and he’s trying to reel you back in. Stop wasting your precious time on him. He just wants you to football his bills again.

category12 · 30/03/2021 06:48

Stop wasting your own time. You're not friends and he's hoping to wear you down into taking him back.

It's not actually good for either of you to continue contact like this - stops either of you moving on properly and it's giving him hope.

Beautiful3 · 30/03/2021 07:30

Please stop talking to him, block him. What a waste of space.

DeathToCovid · 30/03/2021 07:33

Ugh he sounds absolutely awful. You should cut all contact with him right away, he’s lazy, abusive and a cocklodger. You’re not friends, everyone is right when they say he is trying to worm his way back into his cushy place on your sofa. Tell him you have changed your mind and contact isn’t healthy for you, then block him and keep it that way!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/03/2021 07:35

Why did you say you could chat as friends? How low are your standards if that's what you consider a friend
Block him and forget him

Squeejit · 30/03/2021 07:36

I can’t see what is in this for you. I agree with the others. Block him and enjoy the quiet life with your daughter.

SilverRoe · 30/03/2021 07:53

Why are you even talking to him? He was a crap selfish boyfriend and is now a crap selfish ex. You seem sure you don’t want to get back together so what is making you talk to him every day?

ThereforeIAm · 30/03/2021 07:58

Why waste your time ‘chatting’ to him? He sounds like a waster. Leave him to his own devices now.

Sparkletastic · 30/03/2021 08:02

Get some self respect and block him. He's not worthy of your time or friendship.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/03/2021 08:26

Oh PLEASE find some anger! He is using you, he was using you, he will continue using you. Just stop talking to him!

Pick your self respect up off the floor and leave him to wallow in his own self pity!

MrsHastingslikethebattle · 30/03/2021 14:00

Why would you waste time even messaging this oxygen thief?

He's realised hes messed up his free food, sex and board. Stop being a mug and block this tosser.

DianaT1969 · 30/03/2021 14:03

The Freedom Programme is mentioned a lot on here. I'm starting to think it should be compulsory.
OP, what can I say? Your standards are so low that I don't know how to suggest raising the bar.

Alicew00 · 30/03/2021 14:58

Oh my god your so right. And I thought it was ok because he supported me in my career. That's about it. When we split I just saw such a lower and still do. Now I feel nothing and don't want to see him at all. My self esteem is low so maybe that's why. I should work on that. I hate people being mad at me.

OP posts:
Alicew00 · 30/03/2021 14:59

Meant to say loser not lower

OP posts:
BlueDaises · 01/06/2021 18:15

good on you 🌸

fedup078 · 01/06/2021 18:37

BLOCK

MaybeCrazy2 · 01/06/2021 18:40

Hate people being mad at you, I can understand that actually. But let’s get realistic here, it’s you who should be mad at him, he was fucking nasty to you! And a bit uncaring towards your daughter it sounds.

Woman up!

AtrociousCircumstance · 01/06/2021 18:40

Bloody hell woman, block him immediately! Why are you still doing emotional work for someone who was cruel to your child?!

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