Ex keeps driving past my street

[BilboBercow]

I posted on her around 3 weeks ago after finding out my ex had hacked my Google account and him making various accusations. He was harassing me so I reported him to the police and they went and had a chat.

Since then I had another fortnight things being really difficult, him refusing to see our DD who adores him unless he could speak to me, messaging DD and threatening to take away the puppy he got her for Christmas unless I unblock him, threatening to send explicit images to my employer. I've been signed off sick for 3 weeks.

I went to police again and they said they'd arrest him and interview him under caution and solicitor who said they'd write to him. Presumably he's received that letter today but not heard from police yet.

Tonight he keeps driving past my street. His car has a very distinctive, loud sound. It's a boy racer type. I could hear the engine but couldn't see it. Since then I've seen it twice, driving past the end of my street (I'm just a few houses from the end). I can't of course say without a doubt it's not someone with the same car but it's a fairly unusual car and I'm sure it's him. I'm a nervous wreck, no idea what he's doing. I'm worried he's psyching himself up to do something but I can't really call the police and say that a car similar to my ex's has driven past the end of my street twice and I heard it a third time.

This is genuinely making me ill

Sorry about the wall of text. I'm on the mob app

Record it. Take videos of it and record it on paper time date, when and what and if it builds up or whatever, show to police.

That sounds scary. He's obsessed and controlling. How old is your DD?

Can you find out the outcome of the police interview?

I'd also suggest you install a security camera outside your house.

Sorry you're going through this.

DD is 7. The police spoke with him informally at his home. Because he's made threats to send images to my employer, they say they'll now arrest him and interview him under caution but haven't gotten around to it yet. That was a week ago

I've ordered a cctv camera from Amazon

Poor you. I agree with the security camera. Can you get some extra security in your home generally - window bolts extra door locks etc - so you feel fully safe in your house.
If you're frightened I think you can call the police and ask for advice. If he's trawling past your house after being spoken by police to that's very dodgy behaviour

Yuko he's literally said in messages he's willing to go to prison. I'm worried that the solicitor's letter has just aggravated things again but st the same time I've put up with so much shit for years to keep the peace and I don't want to do it anymore

Call the police again to report this newest incident of stalking and get an update from them.

This is quite serious, it happened to my friend and she really struggled with the anxiety even after he was forced by the police to leave her alone and ended up moving to a different area. The ex had a history of stalking various past partners and I think one charge of something like harassment against one.

Do not be afraid to call the police every time something happens, as well as following the advice about documenting things and cctv etc

Agree just keep involving police at every step and keep all those messages.
Are you renting? If so are you able to move so he doesn't know where you are?

You absolutely can call the police about this. This guy sounds nasty. Have you considered applying for a non-molestation order?

Dery the solicitor's has suggested something like that. I can't remember what he called it. He's recommended the strongly worded letter first but clearly that's not helped

You shouldn't have to, but can you move far away and let not let him know? Let him take you to court for access. There is no way I'd want my child learning behaviour from this psycho.

Also, have you closed all social media accounts and improved the security of all your passwords? I would tell my employer not to open any email attachments from him (or anonymous senders). So you have family who can support you? Parents/siblings/friends?

I think you should report it to the police again as well as going ahead with a non-molestation order. They might increase their presence in the area which might deter him; at least if it's on their radar, they have opportunity to intervene.

That's terrifying. As pp said, are you able to move away and not tell him? Drastic but in these situations we must listen to what our gut instinct is saying. I see Travelodge hotels are very cheap now... Could you go on a 'holiday'?

Contact Paladin National Stalking Advocacy Service. He’s stalking you and that’s a crime. www.paladinservice.co.uk

Please contact paladin and the police again. He's stalking you and stalking is a dangerous crime.

Tell them you want to apply for a stalking protection order www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-51165055

This likely means that he'll need to make arrangements for contact with your daughter at a contact centre or similar - don't contact him directly about her. Speak to your solicitor about the contact - he's using her to manipulate you and that's not healthy for her either

I can't move away. I only bought this place last year and getting into a position where I could buy as a lone parent was really hard work. Plus we love it here! Thank you all for the advice I'll definitely proceed with the non molestation order. I'm in touch with Woman's Aid too.

There are so many red flags here - obviously he's stalking you, but add to this the blackmail/coercion and revenge porn threats it goes even further. And the comment about being willing to go to prison is chilling. Please report report report.

Keep ringing the police.

DD is 7. Take her phone off her first a start.

I'd stop him having contact with the her. Children adoring something doesn't mean it's good for them, she's too young to understand he's abusive, you're not.

What a pathetic bastard he is, so selfish.

Keep phoning the police, don’t convince yourself you’re wasting their time or whatever, this is what they’re there for.