Evening all, long time lurker but have only posted here once before. Looking for some advice /clarity on my recent situation.
I ended an incredibly toxic situationship last year, my gut always told me something wasn't right with this guy but I didn't listen. Ironically walking away gave me a huge new sense of self worth and I was and am determined never to leave myself open to being treated like that again.
Fast forward to the end of last year, went on a old site really just to see what it was about. Up pops this guy with a lovely smile and we matched. We spoke fairly soon on the phone and agreed to meet, he really seemed like a genuine guy in person aswell. We met a few more times, he was really forthcoming with texts, talking on the phone and on the sm platform we met on which after the last disaster was so refreshing. He has 2 children and has 1 live with him 2 weeks of the month when his shift allows. His wife told him she wanted to split out of the blue 2 years ago and is now with someone else. He wanted me to meet his children fairly early on as he has them so regularly and said it would make things easier. Alarm bells a bit especially when I found I was the 4th woman he'd introduced them to but he seemed so lovely I went along with it and we got on really well. I'm 42 and childless, not really by choice but just never met the right person. In another life I'd have liked them. In all honesty I never really felt a chemistry but thought my previous toxic experience had given me a strange outlook on relationships so persevered. What became difficult was arranging time to see each other, he seemed to think time with the kids was us time. I felt it was important but we also needed time alone to get to know each other and with his shifts and childcare commitments I was feeling like I was the one making all the effort to fit in. Along with the niggling feeling he wanted a wife substitute not a girlfriend to have fun and build with. Last weekend on the one night we could spend together he cheerfully announces on text that he has to leave mine at 5am on the morning to meet his mates for his hobby. I wasn't the happiest, tried to keep myself cool but ended up asking when was I and our relationship going to be made any kind of priority. I get I come 2nd to kids and work but firstly thinking I would want to be awake at half 4 when I had work all day, and secondly what's the point in staying when you're going to jump out of bed and leave. His answer was I should go back on old and meet someone else. So I put down the phone and we haven't spoken since.
My question is have I become too hard? I feel like after putting up with so much I've gone the other way and potentially thrown away a good guy. Or is my gut right and the lack of chemistry and niggles something I should be listening to? Important to add that I love my life and don't need anyone, I've been through a lot on my own and proud to have come out the other side. But if I'm with someone I expect to have some kind of spot in their life and not always the one making sacrifices. Sorry for the essay but some words of wisdom would be much appreciated, even if it's to tell me I've been a brat!