Too nice for my own good?

[Wessexwoman]

I’ve had enough. I’m always polite to everyone, love seeing people happy, give compliments if it’s warranted, acknowledge family birthdays etc etc
I make people welcome in my home even if they are not my kind of people but friends or family of my DH for instance. In other words I bend over backwards. Some of these people aren’t too nice to me at times including DH.
What do I do? I’m not doing it all to be liked or complimented back, but sometimes people can be just downright rude and really take me for granted. I’m sick of it all.
Why can’t people just be nice? Life is too short for nonsense.
Sorry Mumsnetters just needed to rant. Nowhere else to do it.

For others, your generosity might actually might make them feel uncomfortable, like they never asked you for it and now feel like they owe you

^ this. A lot of people don't need, or want you to be nice. The amount of times people have "done something for me" when it caused me more hassle. Or the girl at work that didn't point out my mistake so I kept on making it.
It's also much easier to grin and bear things, or say pleasentries than it is to potentially cause an awkward situation, make suggestions and ultimately do the right thing.
It's like instant gratification in a way - your doing what's easiest now, and putting off seeing someone upset (or the risk of it).
I end up like this when I'm tired - its easier just to go along with things and default to those default rules of non offending rather than have to think about the situation.
What then happens, is people believe my act and think I'm okay with something/ like something when I don't. Of course they keep doing it, why would t they if I wasn't bothered!
I like to know I'm not wasting my time, I like to know if someone is sensitive about a non-conventionally sensitive subject (I don't mind jokes about my mucky house - but it's okay if you don't ).
If you go with the mindset that everyone is nice, and wants to help out, and treat them like that, you'll have a much better time. Whatever you do don't attack them like they're deliberately walking on you - very few people do that I think.

Thank you for the very informative answers - you’ve all given me a lot to think about and some helpful reading suggestions.

My mother used to specialize in snippy little put downs over my appearance, my job, my interests and my friends. Eventually I told her that her opinion was of no more importance to me than that of a stranger I passed in the street. For the last two years of her life we were completely estranged.

With relatives like that who needs enemies.

Oh that’s so sad@memberofthewedding
I think your Mum was probably jealous of your youth. I hope you’re ok. We all just want our parents to love us.
😘